


We speak and breathe everything

by Frenchmeister



Series: GLIMPSE AT MY LIFESTYLE [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Biting, Blow Jobs, First Time, Force Choking, Hand & Finger Kink, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Lots of masturbation actually (it's lonely in space ok?), M/M, Masturbation, Mild Painplay, Mind Sex, Mind palaces, Multiple Orgasms, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Pining, Praise Kink, Pre-Canon, Space!Frankincense, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Voice Kink, author doesn't know anything about repairing electronics and apologizes for any inaccuracies, dialogue heavy in some parts, midi-chlorians (sorry), mildly dubcon fantasies, more character study and pseudoscience than real plot, non-canon compliant and full of inaccuracies probably, slightly force-sensitive Hux, there's a part that looks a little like dubcon but I swear there's full consent, unhealthy sleep habits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 06:47:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5733583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frenchmeister/pseuds/Frenchmeister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Kylo craved the power and control that had been promised to him before he began his training with Snoke, and what better way to gain it than by successfully building up an apprentice of his own and completely surpassing Snoke’s expectations? It was a shame the apprentice would have to be Hux of all people, but he had to admit he was one of the most ambitious people on board and would not back down from whatever his training would require if Kylo managed to convince him."</p><p>i.e. Kylo Ren looks into some suspicious circumstances surrounding General Hux and starts to find himself more heavily invested than he expected. Surprising revelations are made along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Exciting And Sinister Real Life

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so...this is my first attempt at fanfiction. Ever. Most of it is already written/planned out, but constructive criticism is more than welcome seeing as creative writing is definitely not my forte. Also, please note that while this chapter is tame, the story should earn its rating by the time I'm done.

“Dammit, Ren! That was the fourth instrument panel this week! How am I supposed to run a ship when I’m busy babysitting a complete infant?” Hux was shouting by the time he reached the end of his sentence. Kylo Ren having destructive temper tantrums was par for the course and their arguments typically got much farther along before he raised his voice to such a level, but Hux was having a rather trying week.

 

“They didn’t seem to be doing your crew any good anyways, since that makes three times they came back empty handed despite their supposed ‘best calculations.’ Feel free to blame your own crew’s incompetence for the state of this room. I do.”

 

“Reconnaissance requires _time_ , Ren. Maybe if you spent less time playing with magic and acting like a spoiled brat you’d realize how things work in the real world. Maiming expensive equipment won’t speed things along, and as long as I’m in charge here I refuse to tolerate this kind of behavior any longer. You take a lightsaber to even _one_ more panel, and so help me--”

 

Kylo stepped in close, taking advantage of the extra height his helmet granted him to loom in Hux’s face. “That ‘magic’ you speak of is what will ultimately lead to the destruction of the Republic, Hux, and by the time I finish my training your precious ship will pale in comparison to my strength. Enjoy this illusion of power you’ve been granted while it lasts, General. The dark side will dominate the entire galaxy in due time.” With that, Kylo swept past Hux with a flourish, considering the debate won.

 

Hux rolled his eyes. Always so melodramatic that man was, stomping around and talking as if everything he said was a proclamation worthy of a standing ovation, even with Hux as his only audience.

 

“Get back here! You might not be under my direct command, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you continue wreaking havoc on my ship! I’m not going to just bend over backwards like everyone else on board. I’m not afraid of you, _Ben_.”

 

Whoops. Hux had been saving that one for a long while, waiting for the perfect opportunity to present itself. In the midst of one of their petty arguments was probably not it.

 

He felt himself being propelled across the room even before Ren had finished spinning around, arm outstretched. It was a peculiar sensation, and a more intensely frightening one than anticipated. He had witnessed Ren choking others countless times, but this was the first time Hux actually experienced his mysterious powers himself.

 

“How long? How long have you known?” Kylo demanded, voice growing shrill. Hux wasn’t sure he had ever seen Ren more furious than he was right now. This was _definitely_ the most rage Ren had ever aimed at him alone, though.

 

Hux pushed his rising panic down in order to answer, realizing that despite the invisible pressure localized only on his throat, he was still capable of drawing in some air and speaking, albeit hoarsely. Kylo seemed to somehow be supporting him just enough so that his neck wasn’t bearing all the weight.

 

“Honestly? A long time, Ren. I overheard you referring to Vader--” Hux felt his eyes grow wider for a moment as the grip around his throat tightened, but continued with his false nonchalance. “--as your grandfather while talking to Snoke back when you first came aboard the _Finalizer_ , and it took less than five minutes to look up your identity after that. I have to applaud your dedication to the First Order though. Family ties don’t seem to bother you when dealing with your mommy’s Resistance fighters, Ben Solo.”

 

“ **_THAT’S. NOT. MY. NAME!_ ** ”

 

Hux knew he had an unhealthy habit of speaking without thinking sometimes, but he realized he may have actually endangered himself past the point of no return this time when Ren’s hand went for his lightsaber, igniting it. He stalked toward Hux, looking as unstable as the blade in his hands. Snoke’s punishment for killing off the First Order’s best general would no doubt be severe, but Ren appeared too delirious to care.

 

Oh well. If this was how his life was going to end, so be it. Hux wasn’t going to waste his last minutes demeaning himself, grovelling at the other man’s feet (figuratively, of course, as he was still suspended in the air, face just a few inches above Ren’s eye level). Hux knew him well enough to know that pleading for mercy could only prolong his death.

 

Accepting his seemingly imminent demise didn’t calm him down at all, however, especially as Ren brought his lightsaber to Hux’s face, close enough for him to feel the erratically crackling blade singe his eyebrows. He was now experiencing terror and outrage in equal measures, though. Ren actually had the gall to murder him, thereby ruining the First Order’s plans for the near future and possibly earning himself a death sentence from Snoke, and for what? Mentioning his family? The man truly was a pathetic, sulking preteen in an adult body.

 

Ren was busy snarling threats, but Hux ignored him. “Oh, stop being so dramatic. I really don’t have time for this. Either save your breath and let me go or kill me and explain to everyone that Lord Ren, master of the dark side, apprentice of the First Order's Supreme Leader himself, can’t control himself because of his _mommy issues_ . And you can quit with the theatrics, Ren! I’m not intimidated by your mystic _light flickering skills_. Is that really the best you can manage?”

 

Kylo paused, looking up at the lights in question, which slowly returned to full power. Turning off his lightsaber, he replied, bafflingly calm and quiet, “...That wasn’t me.”

 

The man’s mood swings were so violent, they made Hux nauseous at times. “Do you honestly expect me to believe that? Don’t tell me your grasp on the Force is even worse than I thought. Are you so mentally unbalanced now that you don’t even realize what you’re doing?”

 

Kylo abruptly released his hold on Hux, dropping him to the floor. He spoke again with that same soft tone, voice momentarily muffled as he removed his helmet partway through. “I know you think I’m lacking in self control Hux, but that’s not how the Force works. _That wasn’t me._ ”

 

Hux wasn’t sure what made Ren suddenly decide to expose his face, but it made him uncomfortable, despite regularly seeing him unmasked. Even the stormtroopers were periodically granted a glimpse of the living, breathing Kylo Ren on the rare occasions that he took his meals in the mess hall alongside the rest of the _Finalizer_ ’s crew.

 

Hux greatly preferred that stupid helmet to a visual reminder of how young, how _human_ the other man was underneath though, and it always felt wrong to see how little restraint Ren had over his facial expressions. His fellow military officers were forever aloof, rarely allowing Hux to do more than blindly guess at their emotions. It was to be expected in such a professional setting. Still, Ren’s carelessly expressive features were refreshing in a way. Cute, almost, if Hux was being honest with himself.

 

It occurred to Hux for the first time that Ren was fully aware of this weakness of his. Had he slowly forgotten how to control his face after taking his voice filter and metal facade for granted for too long, he wondered, or had the man always been such an open book? He guessed it was the latter, and it appeared that taking off his helmet was meant to convey his sincerity at the moment.

 

It worked. Making fleeting eye contact was enough to convince Hux that Ren was telling the truth, or what he believed to be the truth at any rate. It was still possible the Knight was affecting the lights without conscious intention. Ren was right about Hux not knowing how the Force worked, after all.

 

“If it wasn’t you, then that means something’s gone wrong with the _Finalizer_ ’s controls, so if you’ll excuse me, I need to have a word with the engineering department” Hux replied with a raspy voice, still feeling out of sorts. He marched out of the room, head held high, refusing to show further weakness in front of the other man.

 

Kylo watched him leave without protest, perturbed by the events of the past few minutes. That was no mere mechanical problem, and yet he _knew_ he wasn’t the one making the lights malfunction. Even in his younger days, back when he lacked discipline and wound up destroying something telekinetically whenever his mood soured, he could still feel the Force emanating from himself, even if he couldn’t directly manipulate it.

 

But this, this was something different. He had felt the Force’s presence around him in those moments, but it felt distinct from his own. In fact, it felt almost independent, acting autonomously rather than being controlled by another Force-user.

 

He was aware that the Force was somewhat sentient, but that hardly counted as an explanation in this case. The Force taking it upon itself to flicker lights seemed ludicrous, to say the least.

 

Kylo huffed, annoyed at himself for even entertaining the notion. Instead, he chose to simply write the incident off as an oddity, not worthy of further attention unless it happened again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title came from horse_ebooks, as did the chapter title (the alternate choice for this chapter was "Do you suffer from uncontrollable sweating? Do you experience sudden episodes of intense and overwhelming"). I'm going to be splitting this into way more chapters than necessary just so I have an excuse to use more horse_ebooks tweets.
> 
> The inspiration came from my own lame prompt on the Star Wars Kink Meme, which can be found here if you don't mind spoilers: http://starwarskinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/586.html?thread=236362#cmt236362


	2. Everything happens so much

After another two days and five more acts of violent destruction on Kylo’s part, Hux’s efforts finally produced tangible results, his stormtroopers returning with a prisoner to be questioned.

 

The general was still there when Kylo arrived at the interrogation cell, intent upon immediately getting to work rather than letting their captive wait a while to build suspense. He couldn’t resist the temptation to stop just long enough to taunt the other man, however. “It appears I was right about your crew’s instruments being worthless, General. I heard she was found over fifty kilometers from where your data suggested.”

 

“Mmm. I had a hunch from the beginning, but military protocol meant I couldn’t initially act upon it,” Hux said mildly, not in the mood to be baited into another argument.

 

“A hunch.”

 

“Yes, a hunch, Ren. You know, intuition, gut feelings? The kind of insight _clones_ can’t bring in a military setting? There’s much more to strategic planning than just punching in numbers and mindlessly relaying orders, not that you would know. I wasn’t granted command of the _Finalizer_ by accident, Ren.” Hux found his voice raising a little despite his best efforts, irked by Kylo’s mocking attitude.

 

The general’s comment was clearly intended to be flippant, but Kylo took pause at the mention of intuition, a distant memory of his past coming to mind without permission. Young Ben Solo had a knack for making “lucky guesses,” a skill later attributed to the Force.

 

Looking back, Kylo could remember a number of other incidents when the general attributed his wildly unexpected successes to perceptiveness and good instincts that his subordinates were lacking in. Hux appeared to have luck on his side, but Kylo refused to believe anything happened by chance alone anymore.

 

Hux was still looking down his nose at him though, awaiting his response. Ren chose to shove past him into the interrogation chamber instead, knocking against his shoulder in an admittedly childish gesture. He had business to attend to, and depending on the information gleaned in the next few minutes he may have a new objective that would keep him busy for a while, but Kylo resolved to look into his own “hunch” whenever he had some free time.

 

Nine days later, after some sporadic research on the Force, ancient philosophy, human genetics, and the Hux family tree, Ren came to a conclusion: a meeting with Snoke was going to be necessary.


	3. Learn why slugs far outnumber your estimates

Not one for beating around the bush, Kylo decided to immediately speak his mind upon being acknowledged by Snoke. “Supreme Leader, I have reason to believe General Hux may be Force-sensitive, despite being the first in his bloodline.”

 

According to everything Kylo had read in the past week, genetic mutation could potentially lead to Force-sensitivity, but it was nigh unheard of for humans. Most “random” Forcefuls could actually trace their lineage back to a single Force-sensitive ancestor, but the Hux family tree seemed to be entirely devoid of them.

 

Snoke silenced him with a wave of his hand. “I am already aware of the General’s condition, Kylo Ren. His midi-chlorian count is above average for a human, but hardly noteworthy.”

 

Kylo was well aware of the fact that the only reason Snoke required such a dark, cavernous chamber and a twenty foot tall hologram for these conversations was for the intimidation factor, but he was ashamed to admit he still felt weak and defenseless every time he was before the Supreme Leader, as if the stronger being’s gaze stripped away all his rationality and composure. This time, Snoke’s immediate dismissal caught Kylo so off guard he found himself inadvertently voicing his confusion without meaning to. “Midi-chlorians? Wh-”

 

Snoke cut him off once again, this time with the irritated, patronizing tone of voice Kylo had become familiar with during his training. “Of all the medical exams routinely performed on military personnel, did you think I would fail to test for latent Force-sensitivity? Even the Stormtroopers had their blood tested as infants. Forcefuls such as yourself are not as singular as you might think.”

 

“I apologize for my impertinence, Supreme Leader. Disrespect was not my intention.”

 

Kylo didn’t miss Snoke’s implication that he was disposable and could be easily replaced as the man’s apprentice. To upset him any further today would be a mistake, and Kylo bowed his head in silent deference.

 

The mention of midi-chlorians piqued his curiosity though, considering he was the direct descendant of the record-setting man conceived by the Force itself (if the legends were to be believed). He had never suspected this undisclosed motive behind his annual physical exams, nor had he ever considered getting his blood tested in the past. Even though he knew the correlation between midi-chlorian count and Force ability was not well understood, he had always assumed his numbers were exceptional due to his heritage. There was no doubt the Force was strong in him. How he could he not take after Darth Vader in this respect?

 

He could easily imagine a low midi-chlorian count being yet another shortcoming in his attempts to live up to his grandfather’s legacy, however, especially in light of Snoke’s jab at his expendability. After all, the Supreme Leader clearly knew Kylo’s medical details better than himself. He wondered what other classified tests were being performed on him without his knowledge or consent.

 

The desire to ask about his own midi-chlorian count grew to be so intense in the few seconds that had passed that Kylo could feel it burning through him, but he knew Snoke would never give him the answer so easily. It was possible he only divulged this secret as a test.

 

Trying to distract himself, Kylo found his mind wandering toward thoughts of Hux again, and what his “above average” Force-sensitivity could accomplish besides lucky guesses and flickering lights.

 

When he looked back up at the massive hologram before him, Snoke was peering down at him disdainfully, looking for all the world as if he was reading Kylo’s thoughts (He couldn’t though, not at such a great distance. Of this Kylo was nearly certain. He knew better than to actively try and keep secrets from Snoke, but he had never commented on some of Kylo’s more unseemly thoughts in the past).

 

“It would not do you good to dwell on this matter, Kylo Ren. Even if it were possible to cultivate General Hux’s Force abilities to any real extent, they would not prove useful. He is a _general_ , not a combatant. His purpose in the First Order is to strategize and lead alone, and I suggest you do not distract him from his responsibilities.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've read this one over a few times, but I have a nagging feeling there are some weird grammar mistakes in this chapter or it just doesn't flow well or something. Sorry if that's the case.


	4. You have the unique power to make it a beautiful place or a real mess.

Kylo attempted to meditate in his room later that evening, making a diligent attempt to dispel the notion of Hux using the Force as Snoke advised. His mind remained fixated on the other man though. Surely there was _something_ practical he could learn to do with the Force, something Kylo could help coach him in, something that would earn real praise from Snoke instead of scorn for once. If he discovered the key to training every “above average” human in the First Order to detect and control the Force even slightly, it could pave the way for the dark side to swiftly crush all resistance.

 

Kylo craved the power and control that had been promised to him before he began his training with Snoke, and what better way to gain it than by successfully building up an apprentice of his own and completely surpassing Snoke’s expectations? It was a shame the apprentice would have to be Hux of all people, but he had to admit he was one of the most ambitious people on board and would not back down from whatever his training would require if Kylo managed to convince him.

 

Vowing to ruminate on how best to achieve his lofty goals at a later time, Kylo finally settled down enough to properly meditate, opening his mind and pushing outward. A warship like the _Finalizer_ was always busy, but the relatively small number of alert crewmembers at this hour made it easier to not get distracted by others’ thoughts as he brushed against their minds.

 

Still, it wasn’t foolproof. The general was apparently still awake, sleep evading him yet again.

 

Kylo sighed in frustration. It seemed whenever he attempted meditation while Hux’s mind was active, his own would inevitably seek it out without his permission. It wouldn’t be such a problem if Hux’s insomnia didn’t keep him up until the wee hours of the morning more often than not. Honestly, Kylo would almost be concerned for the man’s health if he didn’t hate him so much.

 

“Hate” was possibly too strong a word, he mused. “Despise” maybe, or “loathe.” It probably didn’t count as truly hating someone if you had the desire to press your mouth against their impossibly soft looking lips whenever they pulled into a frown (which was constantly, in Hux’s case). Despise and loathe both left more wiggle room for some illicit sexual attraction.

 

He wasn’t forced into chastity the way Jedi were. In fact, lust and debauchery fit in quite nicely with the dark side’s methods of tapping into the Force’s power. Instead, Kylo’s current celibacy was more self-appointed. He was aware that the hormones produced during sex could cloud his judgment, proving dangerous for his training, and although Snoke had never voiced his opinion on the matter, Kylo suspected he would disapprove of him forming any kind of non-professional relationship on board his ship.

 

As far as he knew, Hux was in the same situation. Held back by military protocol, he was very limited in his choice of sex partners on board, and shore leave was a rare experience for a general. Not once during his meditation sessions did Kylo find Hux alone with someone in his sleeping quarters, although he did catch him masturbating on one notable occasion (Kylo had immediately retracted from his mind upon realizing what was happening, not wanting to torment himself. All he had managed to glimpse in the general’s thoughts was the hazy image of gleaming metal, possibly Captain Phasma’s helmet, which was surely just a fantasy).

 

Maybe that was why Hux was so irritable and snappish all the time. Maybe that was why _he_ was so irritable and snappish all the time. Regardless, at least he could redirect his tension toward manipulating the force. Poor Hux had nothing but his hands to ease his sexual frustration. His enticing, surprisingly delicate hands...

 

Kylo growled softly, trying to force himself back on track. He decided to _quickly_ glance at Hux’s thoughts, hoping to pacify his mind enough to get back to meditating in earnest.

 

Oddly enough, the image that greeted him in Hux’s surface thoughts was one of himself. He was in the middle of interrogating the prisoner from last week, a Forceful Zabrak female suspected of having ties to the resistance. Kylo hadn’t noticed him at the time, but apparently Hux had stayed to watch (through the window in the closed door, judging by the vision’s vantage point), as his memory of the event was accurate. Despite her high pain tolerance, the woman still started shrieking when his mind overpowered hers, violet eyes rolling back until only the whites showed. Kylo could feel Hux’s amusement as he remembered the prisoner breaking her own wrists in her futile attempts to break free of her restraints.

 

Then, a thread of something else: morbid curiosity. Hux was apparently fascinated by this purely mental torture and was now trying to imagine the sensation (and falling spectacularly short of the mark, Kylo noted with a derisive snort). There was a hint of arousal as Hux pictured himself fighting against an assailant’s mental attack before  his mental defenses were broken down, so slight that Hux himself may not have even registered it.

  
Kylo pulled back into his own mind just in case, struck with inspiration. He knew exactly what kind of experiment to run on Hux, positive the other man would agree as long as he broached the subject just right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the last part I had written out completely in advance, so updates will probably be a little slower from now on since I'll be doing more than just editing.


	5. How to tactfully interrogate a used car

“I was told you had something important to discuss with me, Ren,” Hux said, strolling into one of the Finalizer’s smallest briefing rooms. He hesitated near the doorway when he saw Kylo staring at his helmet on the table in front of him, eyebrows drawn together in anxiety.

 

The two of them frequently met up at odd hours to discuss (read: loudly debate) strategy and attempt to compromise on their separate missions’ priorities, but Ren _never_ removed his helmet for that, apparently convinced his scare tactics still worked on Hux. For Ren to be exposing his face again, this had to be...well, Hux wasn’t sure, but he knew it couldn’t be good.

 

“Yes, I’ve been consulting with Supreme Leader Snoke.” It was a half-truth, at least. He didn’t feel compelled to fill Hux in with minor details like what Snoke actually said.

 

Hux visibly relaxed at the mention of Snoke and finally moved to sit down across from Ren. So this _was_ regarding business matters after all.

 

“Hux, what do you know about midi-chlorians?” Kylo continued, causing Hux to take back his last thought.

 

“The primitive shamans who named the Force didn’t realize it, but you’re infested with microbes that are really doing those magic tricks of yours for you, correct? You’ll have to forgive me; “Sorceror Biology 101” wasn’t really covered at the Academy.”

 

Hux could feel the dull throbbing of a tension headache coming on and the other man’s antics certainly weren’t helping. He still had dozens of reports to get through, a budget revision to approve, a growing list of messages to respond to due to a malfunctioning maintenance droid locking dozens of officers out of their quarters…

 

“No. They coexist with _all_ life across the galaxy, living within our cells and allowing those of us with more midi-chlorians to _sense_ the Force _through_ them. They’re not the Force itself, Hux.”

 

“Right, well, whatever.” Hux hated being corrected. “What do they have to do with anything? Just get to the point, Ren.”

 

Kylo took in a deep breath, clearly about to make another one of his cheesy, dramatic statements. Hux still found himself holding his own breath anyways, affected by the tense atmosphere in the small room.

 

“Hux, your midi-chlorian levels are elevated compared to most humans. The Supreme Leader confirmed that you may be slightly Force-sensitive.”

 

“...What.”

 

“I don’t think he meant for me to tell you this, but when they take our blood during our yearly physicals they test for midi-chlorian levels too, they just don’t include it in our medical reports. Snoke has access to our full blood results though.”

 

“ _What_. Ren, I can guarantee you there’s not a single Force-sensitive being in my entire family tree. We don’t hold much stock in mysticism in my family. Any Hux who willfully reproduced with someone who claimed they could feel and control some invisible, magic lifeforce would have been disowned, if not outright culled from the gene pool.”

 

Kylo made vague hand-waving gestures, trying to dismiss Hux’s words before he was even finished talking. “I already _know_ that. But according to all the studies I managed to compile, Force-sensitivity doesn’t necessarily have to be inherited. It can appear in anyone due to genetic mutation.”

 

Hux narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “I swear, if this was all just a big setup so you could laugh and call me a mutant or freak-”

 

“This is _serious_ , Hux!” Kylo yelled, creating a sizable dent in the metal tabletop with his gloved fist.

 

Hux jumped a little, immediately shutting his mouth to think first before he said anything stupid. He still had the faintest of marks left on his throat and had no desire to earn fresh ones right now.

 

“Well, even if what you say about my blood tests is true, I still can’t sense the Force,” he said cautiously.

 

“It takes practice before you can really feel and consciously control it, but I’m positive the Force is with you. Remember the lights flickering the other day? Emotional extremes can cause you to use the Force without realizing it if you’re untrained. Was our argument a little too scary for you?” Hux didn’t care for the smug grin on Ren’s face, but he only managed to respond with an affronted look before Ren continued speaking.

 

“Look, I’ll prove it to you. Just close your eyes with me, relax all your muscles, and breathe deeply. The Jedi can only use a subdued version of the Force because they’re afraid to acknowledge the inherent chaos of life, but listen to the Sith code: ‘ _Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me._ ’ Do you see?

I can tell you’re irritated right now, so just focus _all_ your attention on that until it flourishes and evolves into purer, more potent emotions like rage and fury and hatred. You have to fully embrace them, relinquish your body’s control, and just let them cascade over you, and eventually those waves will wash away everything else in your mind except the dark side of the Force. Once you sense it, you just need to imagine the walls of your mind opening up like a blossom, and the Force will flow through the rest of your body to your fingertips, where you might be able to manipulate it yourself. Try it. Can you feel that unbridled energy surging through you?”

 

When Kylo finally opened his eyes, he wasn’t greeted by the sight of Hux encountering the seductive allure of the dark side for the first time. Instead, Hux was just staring back at him with a dumbfounded expression on his face.

 

“Do...do you even listen to yourself when you talk? I suggest laying off the spice in the future, Ren, because that was completely ridiculous. What exactly am I supposed to be freed from as it’s washing over me and caressing my soul or whatever that was you were going on about? Is that what you’re really thinking about every time you’re choking people and wrecking my ship with your hissy fits, something inside of you _opening like a beautiful, delicate little flower blossom_?!”

 

By the time he reached the end of his insulting commentary, Hux was practically whooping with uncontrollable laughter. Not once in his entire military career had he lost his professional composure to such an extent. Then again, not once had he been forced to work with someone as unbelievable as Kylo Ren.

 

Kylo knew he should be offended by Hux’s mockery, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel more than mildly annoyed, not when Hux suddenly looked ten years younger, his frown lines and the dark rings under his eyes obscured by mirth. That it looked so vastly different from the smile Kylo was used to seeing made his chest ache a bit, knowing now that the officers he thought were Hux’s closest comrades were still only receiving a polite, watered down version.

 

Hux’s laughter started taking on a more hysteric note, drawing Kylo out of his reverie. He watched the man slump until his head came to rest on the table, arms coming up to fold around it as his convulsions slowly ceased. Hux was silent for a few moments, then quietly mumbled “God, I’m exhausted” without moving.

 

Unsure how he was supposed to respond to that, Kylo continued to sit in awkward silence. This wasn’t going according to plan whatsoever. He could just barely see the tips of Hux’s ears, flushed bright pink with humiliation.

 

Hux eventually gathered the courage to lift his head, but was unwilling to face Ren just yet, instead directing his words into the table below his burning face. “I suppose I appreciate your concern Ren, but I _really_ don’t think I’m Force-sensitive. I have a lot do right now before I can go to bed and I’m sure you do too, so I suggest we part ways for the night and concentrate on our work.”

 

For once, Kylo did as he was asked, picking up his helmet and letting himself out of the room in silence.


	6. Learn the difference between inexpensive noises

Hux wasn’t sure how long he sat by himself after Ren left, just that at some point he found himself standing outside the empty briefing room with no distinct memory of actually standing up and moving. He felt completely discombobulated, mortification and incomprehension both too unfamiliar for his tired brain to handle at the moment.

 

He shuffled through the _Finalizer_ ’s hallways, feet carrying him to his quarters without any further conscious decision on his part. He knew from experience that unless he managed to get some sleep tonight (actual _deep_ sleep too, not the kind of light dozing he’d been managing lately where he’d startle awake at every tiny noise, heart pounding), he would be completely useless on the bridge tomorrow. He’d already made some questionable authoritative decisions today and spelled his own name wrong when signing off on a supply order.

 

Still, sleep deprivation was something he was more than used to at this point. Ren shouldn’t have been able to cause him to lose all sense of self control so easily, no matter how absurd their conversation was. There was really no excuse for Hux to not be working right now either, but he worried that if he went back to the bridge with everyone’s attention on him, his face would break out in that damn blush again, which was unacceptable.

 

Instead, he let everyone know that he was going to be working in his quarters for the rest of the evening and that he was not to be interrupted under any circumstances. If Ren went on another rampage, they could deal with the brat themselves, as far as he was concerned. Determined to power through everything but the most insignificant tasks before turning in for the night, he made his eighth cup of caffa of the day and settled in at his desk.

 

He made a valiant effort to work on his reports after quickly delegating the AWOL droid incident to a lower ranking officer. He really did. It just became obvious after less than thirty minutes that it was pointless, seeing as his eyes refused to focus for more than a few seconds at a time and the last sentence he had typed only contained a single properly spelled word (he didn’t even know what “hiolt” and “wngumeer” were supposed to be).

 

Hux slammed his datapad to the table with a shout, angrily admitting defeat. Ren seemed to be rubbing off on him, which was troubling enough that he decided to stumble over to his bed and immediately lie down for a quick nap, not bothering to undress. All he needed was an hour of rest, and then he’d be back in working condition…

 

But as usual, his mind refused to quiet down, even as his aching body was pleading for sleep. His conversation with Ren was bringing back long forgotten memories of his childhood, from before his brute of a father had finally keeled over and died. Brendol Hux I was an excellent military strategist and commandant, but his parenting methods left something to be desired, and as an only child, Hux received his full, undivided, wrathful attention.

 

In particular, Hux was reminded of the first time his father backhanded him. He couldn’t actually recall what he had done to deserve it or even how old he was, just the sudden burst of pain and disorientation when he found himself on the ground, and then the terrifying, claustrophobic black hole that haunted his younger self’s nightmares: the time-out room. He had an irrational fear of the dark as a child, a weakness that turned his father’s stomach. No physical punishment ever compared to the psychological horror of being locked in and forced to huddle on the floor of what Hux now realized was more of a small storage closet.

 

Most of Hux’s memories of the time-out room blurred together, but this experience was preserved in vivid detail. He could remember the ache and inflamed warmth spreading throughout the right side of his face, the blood trickling down from his cheek where the man’s ring had split his skin, the newly loosened milk tooth that wiggled under the pressure of his tongue, the dizziness caused by what was most likely a concussion, the rage he felt toward his father for slapping him the way he would a common servant, the typical panic that made the minutes stretch toward infinity. But most of all, he remembered the door mysteriously _imploding_ toward him in a rush of sharp splinters that scraped and embedded themselves in his skin as he blinked against the unexpected light.

 

Despite his insistence that he had been curled in a ball at the back of the room as usual, his father refused to believe it was anything but Hux’s fault. That was the day he received his first caning as well.

 

Hux tried to remind himself that childhood memories were often rife with falsified information, pushing down the naive hope that sprang up when considering the memory in a new light. Even if the memory was accurate, there were a number of more likely explanations (he couldn’t come up with any at the moment, but that could easily be blamed on exhaustion), just like a lighting malfunction had coincided with his argument with Ren and his distractingly soft looking hair.

 

Ren...this was all his fault, wasn’t it? His life would be so much simpler without that pain in the arse in it. Hux would be able to sleep more often if he wasn’t busy cleaning up after him, and he wouldn’t dealing with this sudden, confusing knowledge of potentially sentient microbial beings inhabiting his body, and he _definitely_ wouldn’t be preoccupied most nights by filthy, shameful thoughts of someone he couldn’t even stand being around.

 

Yes, Kylo Ren truly was the bane of his existence. What was it the man said about not trying to control your emotions? Because Hux was definitely too exhausted to keep his animosity at bay right now. No man that aggravating should be given such an infuriatingly attractive face. Or a mind like a fucking flower.

 

Because _of course_ Ren’s mind would be something so organic and haphazardly arranged as a flower bud. The man was such a mess, his brain probably just couldn’t keep up with him. It was nothing like Hux’s own mind, which would be strong and imposing and clean and orderly and _properly organized_ , like the massive mansion where he grew up, thoughts neatly closed up in rooms in a clearly laid out floor plan with that magical Force in his father’s den at the very center.

 

And it wouldn’t need to be coaxed into gently unfurling like Ren’s blooming rose. He would simply unlock those sturdy, reinforced doors and crack them open -

 

Every hair on Hux’s body stood up at once, adrenaline immediately surging through his veins. _Something_ was in the imaginary den in the middle of his brain, something irresistible, calling to him with a siren song of power, control, dominance…

 

Hux suspected he was underestimating how dangerous the entity hidden inside was but threw open the doors anyways, releasing this mysterious energy (the Force, the dark side, he reminded himself) from the den to whatever lay outside the Hux manor’s walls.

 

With a rush, he felt an indescribable, voltaic current pour down his neck, almost like freezing cold liquid lightning. The sensation continued to diffuse throughout his entire body but radiated primarily down his arms, icy sparks sending pleasurable shivers down his spine. The lightning finally reached his trembling fingertips-

 

And suddenly Hux was drenched in cold caf, abandoned mug (Hux’s favorite) on his nightstand inexplicably blown into pieces.

 

Hux sighed, tension in the room broken by the steady drip-drip-drip of caf onto the floor. _This was all Ren’s fault._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: Hux still has vague, recurring nightmares about being trapped in a dark, confined space and sleeps with his lights at 5%.
> 
> Edit: I changed coffee to caf/caffa :P


	7. Turn an appealing refrigerator into a secret weapon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's about twice the length of the other ones, and it's almost entirely dialogue. Sorry. Apparently I don't do that whole "summarize the conversation" thing.
> 
> Also, if Hux is really OOC, just blame it on sleep deprivation (either his or mine) :P

Hux didn’t order his personal hospitality droid to clean up the mess in his room, nor did he bother changing out of his caf-soaked uniform. Instead, he marched (and dripped, just a little) directly down to the end of the hall and used his override code on Ren’s door instead of requesting entry. Never let it be said that being a general didn’t have its perks.

 

It was Hux’s first time seeing the inside of Ren’s rooms, but he was expecting the spartan lack of decor and somber atmosphere. What surprised him was the massive, luxurious bed that took up almost the entire bedroom when Hux stormed in, assuming Ren was sleeping like any reasonable human being would be at this hour. It suddenly made sense why Kylo Ren never made his first appearance of the day before 10 a.m. Hux preferred to keep himself humble and sleep on the cramped, military-issued bed that came standard with his room, but apparently Kylo Ren had no qualms about preaching the benefits of pain and strife while spending every night in the most extravagant sleeping quarters possible.

 

Ren wasn’t unconscious as he expected, however. Hux found him already sitting up in bed, sheets pooled around his naked waist. With a sudden movement, his hands came out from under the covers to clutch them and pull them up to his chest like some sort of scandalized blushing maiden trying to preserve their dignity. “Hux! What-”

 

“What the hell did you do, Ren?”

 

Hux all but leered at Ren’s presumably sleep-rumpled hair and flushed cheeks, trying to snap his soporific, ill-behaved brain back to attention before he lost his train of thought. His eyes still continued to wander down to Ren’s broad shoulders without his permission though, taking note of the light dusting of freckles across them that spread to his clavicles, image forever burned into the shamefully depraved parts of his brain (the attic, perhaps: the domain of novelties like holiday decorations, briefly brought out for a specific purpose on occasion, only to be carefully tucked away again as soon as they were no longer considered appropriate).

 

“Do?” Ren suddenly refused to meet Hux’s eye, a somewhat guilty, nervous expression on his face. Hux had never seen  _ that  _ particular look before.

 

“To my head, you imbecile! I apologize for interrupting your beauty sleep,  _ princess _ , but my caf just exploded and there’s evidently some foreign entity taking residence in my head now, and I know you’re to blame! What did you do to me?”

 

Ren’s face transformed in an instant, comprehension dawning on him. “You did it? You used the Force? I thought I felt something shift a few minutes ago!” His eyes brightened and there was a hint of a genuine smile on his features for once as he whipped the covers off himself, practically leaping out of bed.

 

Hux felt his stomach clench as he watched Ren pull down the sheets, expecting his lower half to be unclothed as well. He tried not to think too hard about whether it was out of fear or excited anticipation, and told himself that he was definitely  _ not  _ disappointed to discover that Ren was wearing the same regulation, loose-fitting sleepwear as everyone else on board.

 

“You were able to open your mind and feel how powerful it was once you followed my instructions, I take it? Were you able to control it at all?”

 

Ren appeared to be on the verge of bouncing around like a small child, unable to contain his excitement. It was almost disturbing to see him so happy. But loath as he was to admit it, it gave Hux an odd sort of satisfaction as well to see that he alone was capable of putting Kylo Ren, notoriously petulant manchild, in a good mood.

 

“No, your flower advice didn’t help me in the least bit, Ren. And I couldn’t contain it at all. If I was able to control it, do you honestly think I would have chosen to deliberately douse myself in caffa?” He had only been in the moron’s presence for five minutes, and already Hux could feel his headache from earlier coming back in full force.

 

“That’s ok, we’ll work on that.”

 

“Excuse me? I’m not planning on ‘working on’ anything to do with this nonsense. In fact, I still want to know why you felt the need to start all of this in the first place since you never actually answered my questions today. What sense is there in telling me how to use the Force?”

 

“I’ll be right back!” And with that, Ren disappeared around the corner, heading back into the front room. Hux could hear shuffling and thudding sounds from Ren repeatedly dropping (or possibly tossing around in a destructive manner) something heavy, and then the man was back with a tall stack of yellowed, aging paper and tattered leather in his arms.

 

“Good god, you still read paper books like some sort of troglodyte?” Even Hux’s own father didn’t own books, despite his old-fashioned thinking and love of tradition.

 

“They’re not books, they’re  _ codices _ . I found them in some upscale antique stores in Coruscant during my last assignment from Snoke,” Kylo said with a sniff.

 

“Snoke pays you enough that you can afford to waste a small fortune on useless antiques?” Hux was used to being the highest-paid individual in the room. He’d never considered Ren’s salary before, but he soured at the thought of Ren actually making more than him when all he ever seemed to do was  _ cost  _ the First Order money.

 

Kylo smirked, looking amused. “I have the Force, Hux. I haven’t paid for anything since I was eleven.”

 

“Oh, so you’re just a thief then.”

 

“...You’re overseeing the construction of a weapon that will annihilate entire planets, but stealing an armful of old papers is where you draw the line?”

 

Hux sighed, not in the mood to discuss his morals with Ren. Not now, not ever. “Ren, please. Just explain what you’re doing with these infernal books and how they relate to my...condition.”

 

“I was hoping to find some definitive answers in these since most of the traditional, orally transmitted knowledge of the Force has been lost over the years, but it looks like there’s no conclusive evidence of how Force-sensitivity and midi-chlorian levels are connected. There’s a noticeable correlation, but nobody knows  _ why _ . Do more midi-chlorians directly cause more sensitivity, or are they just drawn to those that are naturally more sensitive? There are some outliers who had low numbers but were strong with the Force, which is where you come in.”

 

“Oh?” Hux was fascinated in spite of himself. The amount of raw passion in Ren’s voice was infectious, and Hux loved to learn (he missed his days at the Academy sometimes). The Force still seemed like an intangible, nearly imaginary concept to him despite seeing it in action, but he could appreciate actual scientific research into the matter.

 

“I’m going to find out if it’s possible to train someone with such low numbers to use Force powers, namely mental ones.” Despite the enthusiastic tone of voice, Kylo looked serious now, aiming an intense stare at Hux.

 

“Not without my consent, you’re not,” Hux said, backing up slightly as if Ren were about to pounce and trap him for use in some sick experiment.

 

“Hux, we could make groundbreaking discoveries with countless military applications here. Just imagine if we could train  _ everyone _ in the First Order with midi-chlorian counts like yours to use the Force to our advantage while the Resistance still only had a handful of Force users! Snoke said your numbers weren’t unusual, and already we have real, concrete evidence that you can use the Force.”

 

“I didn’t use it. If anything, it used me.” Hux supposed he could see Ren’s point, but he still had no desire to be the man’s guinea pig. There was nothing he hated more than the dishonor of admitting defeat, and Ren’s idea sounded like being set up for failure.

 

“You just need to refine your skills. All Force users are the same way when they first start out. But consider this: you might not realize it, but the Resistance’s general is Force-sensitive too.”

 

Hux  _ did  _ realize it, but was wary of pointing out who Ren had obviously inherited his talent from after what happened the last time he mentioned family. “...Yes? And?”

 

“You’ve seen how I interrogate our prisoners, Hux. If one of our men fall into the Resistance’s hands, if  _ you  _ fall into their hands, no degree of pain tolerance will prevent them from learning  _ every  _ detail about the First Order. It’s not like physical torture, Hux. You can’t just tough it out.”

 

Hux’s blood ran cold at the thought of being captured, of single-handedly bringing about the First Order’s demise, of promptly giving up every secret he held without even being given a chance to resist first. “How would the Force help though? Are you expecting me to be strong enough to get inside her head first?”

 

“Not exactly. It’s much easier to resist mind probing than it is to attempt it yourself, especially if you’re not in physical contact with the other person. But if you prove capable of using the Force to strengthen your mind, then we’ll work on more offensive abilities along with defensive.”

 

“Is it even possible for Jedi to read minds like that though? It sounds like some of your supposed ‘dark side-only’ magic.”

 

“It’s important to remember that the Jedi were specifically trained to be lacking in passion and emotion and avoided forming social bonds with others, Hux. They believe their way is the only way and that they alone should be responsible for deciding how the galaxy runs, and I don’t think they’ll let something like empathy stop them if it leads to their victory in the long run. All they care about is galactic peace and harmony, best achieved from their perspective by defeating the First Order as quickly as possible. As long as the ends justified the means they wouldn’t let an opportunity like you slip away from them, and many lightsiders are already quite willing to plant their thoughts into others’ minds if it helps them get what they want. Besides, not all Force-users strictly adhere to one side of the Force. They’re not as powerful, but they can wield both the light side and the dark side.”

 

Hux was silent for a moment, reflecting on Ren’s disquieting words. An idea occurred to him, but he had to acknowledge that he had virtually no idea how Force telepathy worked. “Is it possible to create false memories in your own mind?”

 

“ _ False _ memories?”

 

“They’d be digging around in my brain, looking for memories with critical information, correct? Would it be possible to ‘reveal’ false thoughts and trick them into thinking their interrogation was successful instead of just keeping them out of my head entirely?” Hux wasn’t sure when he had started thinking of this in personal terms rather than abstract, hypothetical ones.

 

Ren’s face split into an unsettlingly manic grin. “I told you there were military uses for this! Who knows what we could accomplish here? We could go down in history for our applied research!”

 

“I already expect to go down in history if Starkiller Base proceeds as planned. Don’t you intend to be remembered yourself?”

 

“The more recognition, the better Hux. And so much information and research into the Force has been lost in wartimes because notes were destroyed or everyone involved was slaughtered. If we help secure a rapid victory over the Resistance with our Force training, we can ensure the knowledge of the dark side will never be forgotten again and further progress can finally be made without interruption. We would wind up in Supreme Leader Snoke’s favour for the rest of our lives, too.”

 

“...Ren, does Snoke know about these aspirations of yours? You said he didn’t want me to know about my midi-chlorian levels. That seems preposterous if he was intending to use me to perfect his training methods and win the entire war.”

 

“Snoke...had no say in the matter. And I don’t want you telling him until we have something to show for our efforts either.” That same peculiar mix of guilt and anxiety was back on Ren’s face.

 

“You want us to try and keep this a  _ secret? _ Can’t he see in our heads when we’re meeting with him?!” Hux’s heart started racing at the thought of trying to deceive their Supreme Leader. Even if he didn’t go along with Ren’s plans he was now an accessory. What the pfassk had Ren gotten him into?

 

“He’d like for you to think that, but no. The battle would already be over if he could get into everyone’s head that easily. He’s quite perceptive and can read body language like no other, but I’m sure a military officer like you can manage a good poker face.”

 

“Is he  _ against  _ all of this then? I’m not sure what you think you’re doing here Ren, but I don’t appreciate you involving me in anything Snoke disapproves of.”

 

“He didn’t actually forbid me from teaching you. He doesn’t even think your condition is worthy of his attention, and I’m going to prove him wrong about all oh his assumptions. He assumes that I’m still lacking in skill and too weak and inexperienced to complete my training, that the Force wouldn’t serve any purpose to a general, that my efforts would prove fruitless since you would be next to impossible to train…”

 

Well, Hux  _ did  _ love a challenge, especially when it was personal. “Still, you don’t think he’ll get angry that you’re doing something other than following his commands like a lap dog?’”

 

Kylo’s jaw clenched, but he showed restraint for once and ignored Hux’s jab. “Not if our efforts aren’t in vain. The First Order’s success comes before all else, and if this proves to be unproductive, he won’t have to know about it unless you slip up. Now elaborate on your ‘false memory’ idea. I’m not sure if it’s possible to do it convincingly unless you prove to be implausibly strong with the Force though.”

 

“If we manage to find someone who  _ can  _ do it, it could easily work to our benefit. Suppose we let one of our own be ‘captured’ and interrogated, only to lure the Resistance into a trap. Or they could surrender willingly or ‘desert’ the First Order and offer up intel to bring down the First Order! If the Resistance decides to stoop to your level and search their mind to verify the information, they would be convinced the captor was speaking the truth.”

 

Hux had passed the point of fatigue and was in a rather frantic state of restlessness now, mind racing with various strategies to apply the Force to their war efforts. It seemed Ren was right about something for once.

 

“So it’s settled then? You agree to let me teach you how to resist memory and thought extraction?”

 

Hux had been so caught up in his planning, he had managed to forget that he was to be the original test subject. “What exactly will that entail?”

 

“There are multiple layers of consciousness. I’d work my way through all of them so you can learn to sense my presence in your head, and then it’s up to you to keep me out. I won’t lie, Hux. It’s painful to resist like that, unlike anything you’ve ever felt. If you don’t think you can handle it-”

 

“I’ll be fine!” Hux snapped. How dare Ren imply he was some sort of pathetic weakling, incapable of handling a bit of discomfort? The self-satisfied look on Ren’s face meant his response had been anticipated, but although he resented being baited into agreeing, he still wouldn’t shy away from pain. Ren seeing his every thought was a different matter, however. “I don’t like the idea of you pawing through my thoughts and memories, either. I don’t trust you.”

 

Kylo actually rolled his eyes at that. “Unless you’ve been hiding crucial information from the First Order this whole time, there’s nothing to worry about. I don’t actually need your permission to get inside your head, Hux.” He leaned it threateningly for a moment, a wild look flashing through his eyes, before finally relaxing again. “Luckily for you, I don’t care about the petty details of everyone’s sordid little lives, especially yours. Besides, I won’t be  _ pawing  _ through your memories, just getting a feel for your current thoughts to start. Surely you can control yourself enough not to reveal anything I’d really rather not see. Even if you don’t manage to insulate your mind entirely, you may still have a degree of control over where I look in the deeper levels as well.”

 

Hux hesitated, unsure if he  _ could  _ control his thoughts in such close proximity to Ren, but in the end his loyalty won out. The First Order was more important than one man’s embarrassment and disgrace, right? “Fine. I still don’t trust you though.”

 

“Thank god. I would be worried if you thought this suddenly made us friends.”

 

It was Hux’s turn to roll his eyes this time. “Let’s get to it then, shall we?”

 

“...Hux, you look as if you’re about to collapse. You’re in no state to be fighting against a mental intrusion. Earlier today you-”

 

“I think I know my own body’s limits better than you do, Ren! Don’t mollycoddle me.  _ I can handle it _ .” Hux knew he was getting defensive, but he was still sore about his semi-public breakdown in the briefing room.

 

Kylo thought it over for a few seconds before reluctantly replying, “Ok...let’s do this in your quarters though. The familiar surroundings will make it easier to meditate and turn your focus inwards.”

 

He held out his arm, and Hux heard the sound of a drawer opening behind him before a bundle of fabric flew past his right ear and into Ren’s hand. Hux rolled his eyes when it was revealed to be one of Ren’s black undershirts, which he proceeded to put on. Showoff.

 

Hux suspected Ren didn’t actually know a damned thing about meditating (his worthless flower analogies and the recently destroyed holoprojector in room 316A-G could both attest to that), but it made sense in a way. He led the other man back to his own quarters, only recalling that it was coated in liquid and bits of ceramic when his retinal scanner let them in and he was hit by the acrid smell of stale caf.

 

“Hmm. I apologize for the mess, Ren.  _ Somebody  _ had m-”

 

Hux felt a cold hand on his temple and was immediately hit with an intense wave of drowsiness, tunnel vision setting in almost instantly. He was distantly aware that his legs had ceased to function, but he almost felt like an outside spectator, not currently occupying the body that was now collapsing to the floor. The last thing he saw through his half closed lids was a figure in black, hunched over to sweep Hux into its arms. What followed was the best night’s sleep of his entire life.


	8. Achieve soil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO sorry this chapter took me so long! This past week was a busy one and the chapter ended up being twice as long as I originally intended :P

He didn’t do it because he _cared_ about Hux or anything. He only knocked him out because he didn’t feel like arguing when it was obvious that Hux wouldn’t be able to properly shield himself in his exhaustion. Just to prove how much he didn’t care, Kylo made sure to set the smaller man down dead center in the biggest wet spot on his bed, a conveniently located ceramic shard digging into the man’s lower back. And if he happened to spend more time holding Hux in his arms and admiring his relaxed, youthful features than was appropriate...well, appreciating someone’s good looks didn’t mean you _cared_ , per se.

 

Neither did ruffling their hair. Nope. That was just Kylo trying to aggravate Hux as much as possible now that his hair gel was losing its hold. Because that was the goal of last night’s actions, _to irritate as Hux as much as possible for his own personal amusement_.

 

That’s what Ren repeated to himself as he walked. He had managed to avoid Hux all day, trying to convince himself that he hadn’t experienced a loss of control himself last night, but was eventually located by a stormtrooper who told him Hux was requesting his presence in one of the private, secluded officers’ training rooms.

 

He felt an uncharacteristic wisp of apprehension in his mind as he traversed the long, isolated hallways. He was often the only one who made good use of the rooms, and the lack of spectators was normally a positive aspect. Today it seemed hazardous.

 

He left his helmet on as he entered the room, fearing the worst, but Hux seemed calm, or at least back to his usual, impassive state.

 

“I’m not sure what you were thinking last night, Ren, but don’t do it again or I’ll mount a search to find the nearest sarlacc-infested planet before personally hand feeding you to the largest one’s maw. Not only were your actions entirely unnecessary as I was fully capable of handling the training session, but that sort of insubordination is highly inappropriate on a military vessel. Even if _you’re_ not a member of the First Order’s military, _I_ am the commanding officer of the _Finalizer_ and assault will not be tolerated again. God knows why, but I’m willing to pardon your lunacy just this once so we can move on with the training. Understood?”

 

“I don’t care about you.”

 

“I beg your pardon?” Hux’s facade cracked a little, his eye twitching.

 

“I didn’t do it because I cared that you were fatigued, I mean. I did it because your mental defenses wouldn’t have been performing at their best last night.. Between adequate rest and anger, your mind is sharpened again and you can feel and use the Force properly now.” He was thankful for the helmet’s vocoder for hiding any uncertainty in his voice as he stumbled over his words, creating a halfway convincing explanation on the spot. Hux’s mind did seem sharper now, at any rate.

 

“I have to admit, it does seem that my mental acuity is improved today. Last night I seemed...unhinged. A result of exposing myself to all this Force rubbish, no doubt.”

 

Kylo was certain that it was entirely due to lack of sleep, but let him believe the Force degraded his brain for now. Hux would be enlightened soon enough.

 

“Regardless, I suppose we should start practicing before I wise up and change my mind,” Hux continued. “I believe you mentioned that you would start with how our consciousness is layered last night.”

 

Kylo cleared his throat, his mask distorting the sound into something harsher. “Yes, the easiest part to read is the surface thoughts, the voice in your head that you’re consciously aware of. Some people’s surface thoughts are naturally more shielded like yours and require purposeful reading, but most people project their thoughts on occasion, especially when they’re emotional or focusing intently on something.

The worst are the people who unwittingly project their thoughts almost continuously. Captain Phasma is one of them, and although the material of the stormtroopers’ helmets provides a natural buffer, I can still hear her and a handful of her troops whenever I’m within a few feet of them. It gets tiresome having to constantly block out the vulgar thoughts being broadcasted directly to your head. Phasma appears to be asexual, fortunately. ”

 

He resisted the urge to smack himself in the forehead, once again grateful for his helmet for hiding his bblush. Apparently he was more jealous of Hux’s own inappropriate fantasies than he realized.

 

“...Okay…” Hux looked uncomfortable, clearly confused why Ren had felt the need to mention his inferior officer’s lack of sexual appetite. “Is it possible to train them to shield their thoughts too instead of relying on the helmets?”

 

Kylo shook his head. “If they’re not Force-sensitive, there’s nothing that can be done. They can’t quiet their own thoughts and they can’t fight back against anyone entering their mind.”

 

Hux looked displeased at his answer, but then again, Hux always looked displeased.

 

“Anyways,” Kylo continued, “there’s a closely related sub-layer, where you can obtain a better grasp on a person’s complex emotional state and how their thoughts are interconnected. They’re often not even aware of these thoughts, since they’re rapid and typically nonverbal. You have to learn to interpret them properly, too. Being in touch with your own emotions is important, since all you’ll have to work with is a few fleeting glimpses into their own. Translating them into words becomes more intuitive if you can recognize those nuanced emotions and how they relate to what they’re thinking.”

 

If anything, Hux looked even more displeased at the mention of being in touch with his emotions. “Yes, I’m aware you’re quite familiar with being emotional, Ren,” he sneered.

 

Kylo sighed, reaching up to release his mask and meet Hux’s eye, confident he wasn’t going to say anything too embarrassing now that he was back in his element. “Regardless of what you think about me, you’re going to need to stop being so uptight for a bit in order for this to work. The dark side is practically synonymous with _passion_ , Hux. It means deciding what you want and doing whatever it takes to obtain it, even if it means pushing yourself to the limits. I know you felt the Force when you relaxed your hold on your mind. You can’t tell me that it’s not worth relinquishing some self control if it means feeling raw power crackling through every nerve in your body and bending to your every whim.”

 

Hux’s eyelids drooped slightly and Kylo could see a shiver make its way down his back as he remembered the sensation of wielding the Force. “Even though I had no control over it, it seemed...addictive, in a sense.”

 

“It is, more than you know. That’s why training and guidance is necessary. It’s alright to let your guard down while we’re working together, Hux. I’m not going to bother asking you to trust me, but know that unless you’re hiding critical information that needs to be brought to Snoke’s attention, everything that happens in our sessions will remain between us. I’m just asking you to let me train you. Please.”

 

He made a point of taking what he wanted, when he wanted rather than asking ever since he became Kylo Ren (apart from when he was talking to the Supreme Leader, of course), but Hux seemed to respond positively to humility. He stared resolutely at Hux, who only quickly glanced at him before looking away again. “Fine. Just get on with it, Ren.”

 

“I think that’s all you need to know for now, since I won’t try going any deeper into your mind yet. I need you to concentrate on something specific, but familiar...reciting one of your meaningless pre-recorded speeches in your head, maybe. You might be able to sense my presence quicker if you know which thoughts don’t belong.”

 

“They’re not _meaningless_ , they’re a vital tool for boosting the morale of our troops. Without them-”

 

“They’re already brainwashed into complete subservience; I doubt your daily speeches make much of a difference to them. But regardless, just start reciting one of them in your head and I’ll move in when I feel like it. Tell me if you notice anything irregular.”

 

The eye twitch made a brief reappearance, but Hux eventually complied with a huff, features softening from a grimace to a look of concentration as his eyes slipped shut and he stopped fretting over paperwork or whatever it was he was so busy with all the time. Kylo only allowed himself a few seconds to enjoy blatantly staring at Hux’s face before moving on though. It was better to take his own advice and concentrate on the task at hand.

 

Keeping his eyes on the other man to watch for a reaction, he carefully brushed against Hux’s thoughts, just long enough to hear “a complete and utter disgrace” in a richer, more resonant version of Hux’s voice than he was used to hearing. He was aware that everyone’s voice sounded different through their own ears, but this was the first time he really took note of it. He actually _enjoyed_ the way Hux sounded this way, even if the words being spoken were just pompous inculcation.

 

After scanning Hux’s face for a reaction and finding none, he slipped into Hux’s thoughts again, ignoring the propaganda being reeled off in favor of observing his emotions, the undercurrent he tried explaining to Hux. He could tell Hux actually believed in what he was saying, that his ire toward the New Republic was sincere. Something in the speech, probably a mention of depravity or lack of morals, was more personal to Hux, reminding him of whatever life he had before leaving with the First Order fleet.

 

“I didn’t realize you were married, Hux.” He managed to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but just barely. His tone came out unintentionally mocking instead.

 

Hux’s face remained completely still apart from his eyes opening, but his mind clearly registered surprise for a split second. “I’m part of a reputable family back on my home planet, Ren. I understand the concept may be foreign to you, but I’m expected to pass on my father’s legacy and sire some male offspring of my own at some point if I ever make it back home. I know almost nothing about my wife apart from the fact that she’s from a rather prominent lineage herself.”

 

Kylo bristled at the mention of his family, changing the subject to avoid discussing it any further. “I heard about your marriage in your sub-thoughts because something in your speech reminded you of it. Now that you know for a fact that I’m in your head, let’s continue and see if you can find me this time. Pay attention to anything that seems amiss.”

 

Hux went back to his speech, but Kylo risked subtly nudging Hux’s train of thought off course, turning it more overtly toward his wife. He began elaborating on his background all on his own after his slight push, thoughts passing by almost instantaneously, but with enough detail for him to understand. It would feel to Hux as though his mind was simply drifting momentarily.

 

“You suspect she’s taken a lover in your absence.”

 

This time Hux looked annoyed when he opened his eyes. Even if he didn’t achieve their goal, getting a rise out of Hux was amusing enough that Kylo didn’t mind too much.

 

“I’m almost certain of it. In case you didn’t notice, it’s a political marriage, Ren, not one based on warm feelings and commitment. A lavender marriage, in fact.”

 

Kylo’s formal education stopped when Snoke urged him to focus entirely on his training at the age of fourteen, and he was somewhat poorly read. He had no idea what Hux was implying with that last phrase.

 

“What, are your people so haughty they’re incapable of feeling love? It’s a horribly weak, pathetic emotion, but even some of the strongest Force adepts initially turned toward the dark side out of love for others.”

 

“That’s not what I’m saying at all, Ren. Don’t be stupid. Familiarity, close proximity, physical intimacy, companionship...they can all breed ‘love’ given enough time. The majority of arranged marriages lead to much stronger bonds than traditional marriages because the pair is forced to cooperate to make the relationship work. Mothers instinctively feel love toward their newborns, too. We humans are slaves to our hormones, unfortunately.”

 

Kylo was quite familiar with the uncanny amount of control hormones held over his own body as of late. Rather than dwelling on it, he decided to remind Hux of the goal of the whole exercise. “You were supposed to be reciting your speech though, not thinking about your wife’s extramarital affairs.”

 

“I apologize. That was an uncharacteristic lapse in focus…” He trailed off, eyes narrowing in growing suspicion. “...That was you, wasn’t it?”

 

“Very good.” He was only just barely connected to Hux’s mind at the moment, but the other man’s sudden jolt of arousal at being praised read loud and clear to him. _Interesting_. He kept his face neutral though, knowing Hux was already upset at what he perceived as a violation. “I admit, I was curious. The impeccable, untouchable General Hux actually has a personal life. Fascinating.”

 

Hux actually rolled his eyes, a rare sight despite his constant snark. He didn’t respond beyond this, just glared at a point somewhere to Kylo’s right.

 

“So now you have an idea of how it feels when someone influences your thoughts, even if only slightly. Let’s try a different strategy. You said my advice didn’t help you use the Force, so how did you manage? What were you doing when you released it?”

 

“I...it wasn’t exactly on purpose. But I was picturing how my mind would be clearly organized compared to your stupid flower blossom...” Kylo scowled, but Hux continued as if he hadn’t noticed, “...and where the Force would hypothetically be if I did turn out to be Force-sensitive. I still thought you were deranged at that point, you know. I was honestly surprised it hadn’t happened sooner, what with your intense mood swings and violent tendencies.”

 

Kylo ground his teeth, not wanting to risk Hux abandoning their plans by getting into another shouting match. He only raised his voice to half the volume their arguments typically took place at. “Just get to the point, Hux! I need to fully understand your mind in order for this to work.”

 

“I felt something strong behind that hypothetical door and when I opened it, I felt it run down to my fingers. That’s when my coffee exploded. My uniform couldn’t be salvaged by the way, no thanks to you.”

 

He growled under his breath, starting to get fed up with Hux refusing to take the situation seriously. Kylo was starting to understand how the general felt during most of their confrontations. “Hmm...try that again and I’ll observe from the background. It’s entirely different from how I do it so I may need to adjust my teaching methods.”

 

“Or lack thereof.” Hux was still staring at the wall, avoiding eye contact and looking for all the galaxy like a petulant teenager.

 

“ _General_.” He was using his ‘this is your last chance before I bring out the lightsaber’ voice, but instead of fearful obedience he received a sinuous, heated thread of lust snaking its way through Hux’s body to pool in his belly. Kylo wasn’t sure if it was due to his tone or the authoritative title, but clearly he wasn’t going to make it out of this training alive if his own libido perked up every time he accidentally turned Hux on. Celibacy was starting to sound like a poorly thought out plan all of a sudden.

 

Outwardly, Hux still appeared as exasperated as ever, sighing dramatically before muttering, “Fine. Don’t touch anything though, and don’t make any of your asinine comments.”

 

Rather than stay standing, Hux moved to lie down on his back, pausing when he saw Kylo’s bewildered expression. “ _What?_ You _told_ me to do what I did last time. I was lying on my bed.”

 

Amused by Hux defensiveness, Kylo simply shrugged, sitting down a short distance away from his prone body with crossed legs, the same pose he typically meditated in. When he gestured for Hux to continue, the redhead hesitated for a few seconds before closing his eyes, checking that he wasn’t being mocked.

 

Kylo waited to breach his mind until the tension in Hux’s body dissipated, muscles going slack as he quieted his thoughts and reached a meditative state. His face wasn’t quite as relaxed as it was when he was asleep, but its youthfulness was still striking enough that Kylo paused to drink it in for a few moments. The lighting in the training room was harsh, highlighting Hux’s barely-there freckles the perpetual gloom of space hadn’t yet managed to erase and his short, nearly translucent eyelashes, paler than the rest of his hair. _‘Beautiful’_ popped into Ren’s head before he instantly snuffed the thought out. He had let his mind wander into dangerous territory again.

 

When he slipped into Hux’s thoughts, he found himself in the entryway of what appeared to be a rather large, spacious house (Hux’s family home, he instinctively knew) with a sweeping staircase leading to the next floor. The decorations were minimal, but looked _expensive_. Everything in the room was probably handmade by master artisans or custom designed just for them, he thought with a slight sneer. How pretentious.

 

Slightly ahead of him was Hux himself, heading down a hallway to the right of the staircase. He wasn’t exactly narrating his actions, and his mouth wasn’t moving, but Kylo was getting vague, mostly non-verbal impressions of what he was thinking as he moved along.

 

As he followed the general, he guessed that the closed doors in the hall each hid a memory, or a related collection of memories. He couldn’t be sure, though, because Hux was ignoring them for the most part, moving deliberately towards an unknown destination. The kitchen, maybe?

 

It was clear that Hux was still fleshing out his mind palace. He seemed confused about which rooms held what, and was busy attempting to find a logical way to file his thoughts based on each room’s location and purpose.

 

Kylo rolled his eyes, both in Hux’s mind and back in his corporeal body. The man was still trying to keep himself neat and orderly instead of embracing the Force’s wild nature. Growing bored with silently following, he turned back toward the hall from which he came, leaving Hux to mull things over by himself.

 

The not-exactly-sounds of Hux’s thoughts didn’t diminish with distance; if anything, they grew more articulate, taking on a restless tone, as if the man were uncomfortable or anxious for no discernible reason. Good. Maybe he’d pay less attention to his filing system and more to the intruder in his home like he was supposed to.

 

The doors in Hux’s home were stately looking and old fashioned, with actual doorknobs and locks instead of voice-activated mechanisms, retinal scanners, or even keypads. Kylo idly wondered if it was because the house was a family heirloom of sorts or if the design was purely aesthetic.

 

Unsure how strong of an effect using the Force would have on Hux’s head, Kylo considered his odds of getting into one of the mysterious rooms without being noticed, curiosity getting the best of him (He lied when he said he wouldn’t rifle through Hux’s thoughts. With such a potential for embarrassing blackmail material, it was too good of an opportunity to pass up). He stopped at one of the first doors near the entryway, grasped the doorknob...and found it to be locked. Of course.

 

**_Where are you?_ **

 

A lesser man than Kylo would have jumped at the voice that seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. Whereas Hux’s sub-thoughts had been little more than a murmur, this question was booming, clearly directed at him. He stayed still and silent to see what Hux would do.

 

_**I can tell you’re still there. Where are you?** _

 

Using his physical body, Kylo projected his thoughts at Hux, the same way he occasionally communicated with the other Knights of Ren during drills and exercises.

 

_That’s your job to find out. How did you know I was here?_

 

**_My thoughts started drifting again, only this time I caught that it wasn’t me directing them._ **

 

_Good. If you try, you might even be able to see through my eyes right now. Don’t overlook physical sensations as well, however. There might be a slight pressure in your mind._

 

**_...Yes, like a painless tension headache. It’s been there for a few minutes._ **

 

_As have I. Now come find me._

 

With that, both went silent again, barring Hux’s muted cogitations. Kylo monitored them as he continued exploring, keeping tabs on Hux’s progress. Hux was apparently a quick learner, as he was already starting to narrow in on his location without even stepping foot from the kitchen yet.

 

Kylo considered leading Hux on a chase through the house, but soon suspected that Hux was actually sensing his movements, as if they were sending ripples through the atmosphere of the house. Wandering into the drawing room, he sat in a stately looking armchair, schooling his features into a bored expression so he’d be ready whenever he was found.

 

His suspicions were confirmed. Hux grew frustrated almost instantly, suddenly cut off from his main line of support.

 

_It’s best not to rely too much on one tactic. Surely you know that, General._

 

Hux didn’t respond, just concentrated even harder. His thoughts were moving rapidly now, too quick and jumbled for Kylo to decipher without an increase in effort he didn’t feel like expending at the moment. He tuned Hux out instead, entering a light meditation while he waited.

 

He stirred after just a few short minutes when he heard boots in the hall, as close to running speed as the dignified general ever reached. Hux burst into the room, the same satisfied look on his face he got whenever the _Finalizer_ took down an opponent with a single shot. “Ah! I _knew_ I would find you here!”

 

“Well done. Come out of your meditation and we’ll discuss your methods.” Not waiting for a response, Kylo opened up his eyes, drawing back into his own head.

 

Hux’s eyes opened a few seconds later, followed by his mouth. “I can’t even put it into proper words, but I solved the trick to finding you. It was as if there were brainwaves out of sync with my own, and once I determined which they were, I could sense you properly. You felt out of place, wrong. It was easy to precisely  locate you after that.”

 

“That was impressive for someone so new to the Force. Most struggle with separating the foreign presence from their own brain, or with sensing it in the first place. You’re more introspective than I realized if you can disentangle your mind from mine that well.”

 

Hux was completely unsubtle in his preening. “I received top marks across the board at the Academy, you know.”

 

Not wanting to hear his boasting, which he knew from experience could drag on for ages if nobody stopped him, Kylo quickly said, “We’ll try it without visualizing anything next, just to make sure. Then you can work on actually manipulating the Force.”

 

“Hey, what about the light side?”

 

“What _about_ the light side?” Kylo demanded, confused and irritated by Hux’s non sequitur.

 

“I’ve seen your tricks, but what does the light side let you do? I don’t actually know what the difference between them is. Will I be learning to use the light side at all?”

 

“No.” What a stupid question. Perhaps Hux wasn’t as smart as he had been led to believe.

 

“Why not? Didn’t you say that some people use both? It seems like it’d be more practical to have a diverse range of skills, especially in a command position like mine.”

 

“Well it’s _not_ more practical.” His previous good mood was disappearing fast, and his tone of voice and the slightly hunched, looming posture that worked so well when he was wearing his mask would have prompted anyone else to drop the subject.

 

“How can it _not_ be more practical? It-”

 

“Because the light side is _worthless_ , Hux! It fosters apathy and cowardice and deficiency and _weakness_ and no good can come of it, don’t you understand? We’re above using the light side. It’s nothing more than a blemish on humanity that needs to be eradicated. If you want to use the light side, go talk to a karking Jedi!”

 

Angered even more by Hux’s utter lack of reaction than his words, he stomped to the locked doors of the training room once he was done yelling, using the Force to rip them open when the mechanism took too long.

 

“You could at least take the time to explain what makes the dark side so special other than the fact that only murderous vigilantes with an affinity for black clothing use it,” Hux called after him, sighing at the damage and trying to tally up the cost of repairs.

 

Kylo showed an unusual amount of restraint on his way back to his quarters, only smashing in two more doors and using his lightsaber to carve a line down the length of the training hall as he passed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From Wikipedia: "Lavender marriage is the popular term used to describe a male-female marriage in which one or both of the partners was homosexual–or possibly bisexual...It is a specialized instance of a marriage of convenience, in which the marriage is formed for some reason other than the romantic attachment assumed to be the basis of modern marriages, for legal reasons involving inheritance or immigration, for example."
> 
> i.e. Hux and his wife are both totally gay because I say so


	9. The story of an almost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be a short interlude to tide you all over while I worked on the next chapter. Instead, I wrote 2000+ words for this chapter and didn't even start on the next one yet. Sorry :(

Hux fumed, pacing his quarters. Why insist on training him if Ren was going to throw a hissy fit every time he said something he didn’t like?

 

He was technically off duty for the rest of the evening, but he was far from relaxed during what was supposed to be his leisure time. Aggravated at Ren’s immaturity and bored out of his wits, he had already caught up on his messages (even the mundane ones he normally let his inferior officers handle), finished the paperwork for the new damage to the training room hallway, completed the command staff performance reviews that weren’t even due for another fortnight...he needed something to do before he ended up taking out his frustration on his surroundings à la a certain Knight of Ren.

 

He had been anticipating spending this free time working with Kylo since the man always seemed to know Hux’s schedule down to the minute, so he had purposely finished as much work as possible in the past few days. What a mistake that had been. He had seen neither hide nor hair of the other man since he stormed out of their tutoring session two nights ago. He could never fully enjoy anything where Ren was involved, but up until his tantrum he had been more or less tolerable and Hux was fascinated by the novel experience of opening his mind to another person. He had almost been looking forward to working with him again.  


 

It did have its drawbacks, though. There seemed to be something wrong with his head now, impossible to ignore whenever his mind and hands were idle. It wasn’t the same pressure he had felt when Ren was in the Hux estate, not at all, and yet he suspected they were related somehow. This felt more like a ghostly presence hidden away in a dark, recessed corner of his mind, almost unnoticeable. It was foreign, at any rate. He couldn’t explain  _ how  _ he knew, since it didn’t feel out of sync with himself like Ren had, but he could just tell it wasn’t part of him. Not naturally.

 

It should alarm him, having some alien  _ thing  _ in his mind, and yet he felt strangely comforted by its presence, like it was reassuring him it was harmless. No matter how much the rational part of him was screaming ‘danger,’ he instinctively knew that whatever it was he was feeling was a  _ good  _ thing.

 

It was better to distract himself from thinking about it too much, since he was getting nowhere by fixating on it all the time. Instead, his mind turned toward the faulty holodisc player on his shelf, the gleam of it standing out next to the dull black model that his beloved Starkiller Base would soon resemble. He so rarely had the time to spare for recreation, he entirely forgot he even owned the thing, allowing it to collect dust on the shelf for the past few months rather than getting it repaired after it started flickering.

 

Well, even if he never actually used it again, fixing it himself would keep him busy for a while. Even those in the command track at the Academy had to learn basic skills in all areas, and a holodisc player’s components would be child’s play compared to a Star Destroyer’s massive navicomputer.

 

Digging out his toolbox, he set to work, breaking the whole unit down unnecessarily and spreading the parts across the floor to make the task last longer. Locating the source of the problem was simple. There was a group of wires that had frayed over time, some of them completely severed by now. An easy enough fix.

 

He had removed his tunic and gloves upon retiring to his quarters for the day, leaving him in just his collared shirt on the upper half. He rolled up the sleeves to his elbows before grabbing his fusing pen, not wanting them to get in the way or wind up coated in grime, and began mending the broken wires. It wasn’t complicated work, but it required dexterity. The wires were tangled together, and some of the problem spots required holding the fusing pen at an awkward angle to aim the beam just right…

 

“Pfassk!”

 

His hand had slipped, allowing the laser to not only sever more strands than it repaired, but also glance over Hux’s left wrist as he was attempting to detangle the snarled wires.

 

Throwing the fusing pen across the room in a rare fit of rage, he observed the damage to his skin, gingerly bringing the injured wrist to his eye. The burn wasn’t severe, but it was painful. Already a group of ugly blisters had started to form, right on the crease where his hand met his forearm. Well that wouldn’t do. He’d need to treat it right away so it could begin to heal before his next shift or else even typing would become an arduous task.

 

Behind him, his doors opened with a sudden rush of air. No comm ahead of time, no request for permission to enter, not even an override code had been entered. Heavy footsteps came into his quarters, and as quickly as they opened, the doors whooshed shut again, lock engaging with a click. Cursing himself for positioning himself so vulnerably, Hux frantically scrambled to grab his forgotten blaster on his desk as he heard a loud thud ring out behind his back, floor vibrating from something heavy being dropped by the door.

 

Fingers finally gaining purchase, Hux spun to aim the blaster at the intruder, ready to stop what could be a potential assassination attempt. That was one lesson his late father had drilled into him: no matter how much power you gained through laborious, honest effort, there was always someone capable of taking it away using brute force if you let them. Vigilance was key both on and off the field.

 

It only turned out to be Ren (of course, he chided himself, who else could open the doors to his quarters like that?), who was visibly distraught, helmet abandoned at his feet. It was likely covering up a new dent in the floor.

 

No wonder he always wears that ridiculous thing, Hux mused as he lowered his weapon. Nobody would take those boyish features seriously, not when his brow furrowed at the slightest hint of frustration and his bottom lip was chapped from constant biting. What a dreadful habit.

 

Before he had recovered enough from his shock to ask what the man was doing in his room, Kylo asked, “What happened? I sensed that you were distressed and in pain.”

 

“I...burned my wrist. Just barely. How did you sense that, exactly?” He thought he would be able to feel if Ren was snooping in his mind from now on, but people didn’t make it to his position without a healthy dose of paranoia in their lives.

 

“...You projected it?” Ren seemed confused, as if he were just guessing.

 

“Was that a question or an answer?”

 

“An answer. You momentarily projected your feelings and I assumed the worst. Plenty of men on board would kill for your position.” Hux couldn’t tell which of them Ren was trying to convince. Something about his demeanor seemed...off. “Here, let me see the burn.”

 

He held out his left hand expectantly. Hux complied with the request despite himself and rested the back of his hand in Ren’s palm, exposing the blistered skin of his wrist. “It’s hardly any of your concern, Ren. I’ll have a droid fetch me a bacta patch-”

 

“Shh.” Ren’s penchant for dismissively cutting him off was starting to fray his nerves lately, but he allowed him to carefully cover the burn with his right hand without any further protest.

 

“I haven’t had many chances to practice this, but it’s quite simple. Hold still.”

 

“Wait, what are you - oh.  _ Oh. _ That’s...a rather...curious sensation.” He couldn’t tell if his arm felt warm or cold underneath Ren’s fingers, and there was a slightly ticklish feeling running through his nerves. Or maybe it was more of a stinging feeling. He couldn’t be sure, but he knew for a fact that his face was flushed, could feel it reaching his ears as a cold sweat broke out along his hairline.

 

Ren lifted his hand, revealing his now healed forearm. Flabbergasted, Hux pressed his fingers firmly over the spot the burn had occupied, confirming that his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him. There was no residual pain or sign of a blemish; if anything, the skin there looked better than before.

 

“I honestly had no idea the Force could be used for something like that. Thank you.” Hux was not a man who readily expressed gratitude. He requested, he commanded, he ordered, but he never said ‘thanks’ to those he deemed beneath him. But he felt it was necessary right now, not just for healing him, but for offering to teach him about the Force altogether. He had obviously been underestimating the range of Ren’s abilities all this time.

 

When he shifted his gaze to the other man, he was taken back by the conflicted expression on Ren’s face as he stared at Hux. Discomforted by the scrutiny and the man’s silence, he attempted to break the tension. “If you’re capable of healing that easily, why do you have scars all over?” he asked, curious about the small marks he had noticed on his chest and arms the night he barged into Ren’s quarters.

 

“I can’t heal myself, only others.” Anticipating Hux’s demands for elaboration, he continued, “Don’t think of it as healing, think of it as transferring energy or life force. I can transfer that to another person with no problem, but I can’t transfer energy from myself to myself. Not really.”

 

“Does Snoke not let you use medicine though? That’s a lot of scars, even for someone who’s constantly fighting on the frontline.” His own body was entirely mark-free, both from his lack of close combat experience and the fact that his own family could afford an endless supply of bacta and other healing agents when he was young. He had never seen so many scars on a human before.

 

Ren scoffed lightly, lips quirking into a not-quite smile. “The dark side feeds on pain and rage. All of my scars are derived from my own foolish mistakes, and to deprive myself of the physical discomfort of healing would be to literally weaken my grasp of the Force.

 

“Hmm, how barbaric.” The insult came automatically, hardly requiring any conscious input.

 

Absentmindedly, Hux traced a jagged scar on the bone of Ren’s wrist where his sleeve had ridden up a bit. His other hand was still being held by Ren. It felt...maybe not  _ good _ , exactly, but tolerable. Ren’s hands were large and warm and rough with calluses, so masculine that somehow the act of having his hand held like this didn’t feel effeminating like he expected.

 

His fingers followed the scar up the back of Kylo’s arm, pushing up his sleeve just a little bit more, but he paused when he heard Ren’s breathing catch. He was aware that scar tissue could be sensitive. Was this slight pressure actually hurting him?

 

When he looked up to gauge Ren’s reaction, however, he did not seem to be pained. His mouth was parted, just a bit, and his pupils were starting to dilate. Hux’s own breath caught in his throat, and his gaze fixated on Ren’s mouth when his tongue came out to wet his lips.

 

What in the worlds was  _ happening _ ? The atmosphere of the room suddenly seemed oppressive, the air too thick to breathe properly. Hux could feel the hairs on the back of his neck raise. Something about the way Ren was looking at him made him feel like prey, trapped in a too-small room with a vicious predator, which he supposed he was, in a way. He couldn’t find it in himself to care about the man’s violent tendencies right now though.

 

Ren was slowly bringing his face closer by almost infinitesimal degrees, eyes still locked with Hux’s own. Was he about to kiss him? Is  _ that  _ what this was? He had never seriously considered what it would be like to kiss Ren, but Hux thought it would probably be acceptable at the moment. Desirable, even.

 

Hux could feel that damnable blush of his coming back, starting high on his cheekbones, and his breathing started to sound embarrassingly more like panting. His gaze dropped back down to Ren’s full, almost feminine lips. Yes, he decided. This was  _ definitely  _ desirable.

 

Just as he started to lean in himself, determined to close the gap and find out if Ren’s mouth was as incredibly soft as it looked, Ren suddenly jerked his arms out of his grasp. Taking a step back and turning to look back towards Hux’s door, he brusquely said, “We’ll continue your training at 2200 hours tomorrow. Meet at my quarters; their setup better facilitates deep meditation compared to the training rooms.”

 

He picked up his forgotten helmet from the floor and was gone as soon as its mechanics had ceased their whirring and locked in place.

 

Hux sighed, covering his eyes with his palms. He had no idea what to think about what had just happened, and his body was even more confused than his brain.

 

His brain...the niggling pressure was still there, simultaneously soothing and worrisome. He’d ran the medisensor from the cabinet in his fresher at least five times today, and each time he results came back clean, apart from his high blood pressure (which no amount of medication could cure, not with Kylo Ren on board). That left only one option: he was imagining it. The stress of dealing with Ren and experimenting with the Force was causing bizarre psychosomatic symptoms. Great.

 

At least Ren hadn’t broken anything and had opened the door like a normal human being. Sort of. Maybe their next training session wouldn’t be a complete disaster after all.


	10. I m going to outline 14 different ways that I ve found you

No surprise attacks, no pertinent intel gathered, no prisoners to sic the  _ Finalizer’ _ s interrogation droids on...it was a dreadfully uneventful day, the kind his fellow officers seemed to relish. Personally, Hux hated them. Unless he had something like paperwork to catch up on, he always felt restless, unable to shake the feeling that he was committing a grievous offense by wasting time.

 

He was particularly antsy today as the hours dragged by before he was off duty. He had already begun to acclimate to the strange cohabitant in his head, and now his thoughts all revolved around the next session Ren had scheduled after the bizarre events of last night.  _ Was  _ that a near-kiss incident last night or had he imagined it? Was Ren inviting him to his room a blatant innuendo or the Sith method of flirting or something? Did he still think kissing Ren was desirable? And most importantly, why was his gut clenching at the idea of being  _ propositioned  _ by that brooding monster of a man?

 

Yes, Kylo Ren was attractive. Perhaps not conventionally so, but certainly not ugly. Hux could easily admit that. He’d even admit to sinfully imagining what the man looked like under all those layers from time to time, because despite having the galaxy at his fingertips and an entire Star Destroyer full of beings who catered to his every whim and followed his orders to a T, Hux had never experienced a more profound loneliness in his whole life than the hours he spent on the bridge, watching the infinite vacuum of space hurtling by.

 

Also, Ren had to be in  _ incredible  _ shape from his training, right? All that slashing he did with his lightsaber on the ship’s electronics had to give him great arms at least, and Brendol Hux II’s libido was a grade-A sucker for well defined muscles.

 

But now that the situation had begun shifting from fantasy to reality, Hux was throwing on the brakes. He could think of countless reasons why they most definitely  _ should not _ be anything but professional with each other, no matter how his body felt about it. He would take a cold shower after their sessions if that’s what it took, but he refused to satisfy his body’s misdirected, instinctive desire to breed, especially with Ren.

 

That didn’t stop him from making sure his teeth were brushed to a spotless shine and his hair combed to perfection before heading to Ren’s quarters, however. He still had a reputation to uphold.

 

He hesitated at the door, wondering if he was familiar enough with Ren to walk in unannounced like the man always did to him, but his professionalism won in the end and he requested entry like a lowly yeoman.

 

The door slid open momentarily, but nobody was behind it. Instead, Hux was greeted by Ren’s smell alone, a smoky, earthy mix of indeterminate spices with a hint of ozone.

 

“Come in, I don’t have all night.”

 

Hux had ignored everything but Ren’s bedroom the night he stormed in to confront the man, but he had a surprisingly large entryway, comparable in size to Hux’s own. The man was standing to the far left of the room with his arms outstretched. As Hux watched, the few pieces of furniture rearranged themselves, clearing a space in the middle of the room with only a strange, hexagonal pedestal left in front of Ren himself.

 

“Ah, waiting until the last minute to set up, I see.”

 

“You’re early, actually.”

 

“If you’re not ten minutes early, you’re as good as late, Ren. You’re on a military vessel right now, so you might as well adapt to military protocol. What  _ is  _ that?” As he stepped closer, he realized that the pedestal was more of an ashtray, full of grey soot.

 

“Incense burner. It aids in meditation by focusing the mind.”

 

“Incense?! Do you have any idea how serious a fire can be on a ship like this if the atmosphere generator malfunctions even  _ slightly _ ? How did you manage to circumvent the ship’s smoke sensors? I have higher clearance than you and even I can’t.” Ren stared at him with one eyebrow raised, waiting for Hux to catch on. “...Ah. Of course, another one of your magic tricks.”

 

“You can stop pretending you have an aversion to the Force, General. The fact that you’re here tonight proves you have a vested interest in continuing to learn.”

 

With a self-satisfied grin, Ren turned back to the pedestal, setting a black disk in the ashes and placing a small pile of translucent pebbles on top. Procuring a spark stick from within his robes, he touched the flame to the black disk, instantly igniting it (Hux held his breath, anticipating a raging inferno despite Ren’s confidence). As the charcoal smoldered, the heady scent in the room intensified.

 

“How often do you do this?”

 

“Nightly. It helps you relax, and by using it regularly, you train your brain to associate the smell with meditation, which means you can reach an altered state of consciousness quicker and easier.”

 

Well, no wonder Hux associated Ren with the smell of whatever this incense was made of. The man practically bathed in it if he did this every night.

 

“I hope you don’t expect me to join in every night too.”

 

Ren snorted. “That wouldn’t exactly be conducive to relaxation, would it? Sit on the floor and find a comfortable position. If you’re successful at deep meditation more time can pass than you realize, leading to stiff muscles.”

 

As Hux tried not to ogle, Ren pulled off his outer layers and unlaced his boots, leaving him in just his trousers and tunic. Even through the thick material, his toned physique was obvious, his broad shoulders and narrow waist forming a perfect V-shaped torso. Self-conscious about his own slender build, Hux grudgingly removed his boots, greatcoat, uniform tunic, and gloves. He wasn’t totally out of shape, but being an officer left little time for exercise beyond traversing the halls of the ship, so he quickly lost his muscle mass once he left the Academy. He desperately hoped Ren didn’t notice the tunic’s padded shoulders.

 

Once they had both settled in and closed their eyes, Ren continued, “You shouldn’t rely too strongly on imagery during self-examination, so don’t picture that mansion of yours tonight. Just focus on deep breathing and relaxing right now, and when I enter your mind, I should still feel the same as before.

 

Doing as he was told, Hux breathed in the incense, zoning out for an indeterminate amount of time before he felt the painless pressure behind his eyes. He struggled with locating Kylo’s presence without a pseudo-physical environment to search. He never did care for abstract thought.

 

After a minute of floundering, he managed to latch on to Ren, an intangible spark of otherness in his mind.

 

_ Good, now force me out. _

 

**_How?_ **

 

_ Follow your instincts. Let the Force guide you. _

 

At a complete loss, Hux tried pushing at Ren for a while, who stayed firmly in place within his mind. The Force didn’t seem to be a willing guide.

 

_ Perhaps you need a greater incentive, General. Your locks and doors won’t do you any good if you have nothing to reinforce them with. _

 

To Hux’s horror, he felt Kylo burrow deeper into his head, forcing his way into more than just his current thoughts. Panicking, he erected an imaginary wall. It worked, and for a few blissful seconds he was the only inhabitant in his head.

 

The pressure returned with increased intensity within seconds, this time accompanied by a sharp twinge behind the center of his forehead.

 

_ I’m afraid you’ll have to be **much** stronger than that, Hux. _

 

Even when he wasn’t broadcasting his thoughts, Hux could still sense Ren’s amusement. Evidently, without the visuals of locks and doors to hide behind, his highly structured way of thinking left his memories clearly organized, easy for anyone with Force abilities to peruse at their leisure. If anyone but Ren had been searching, the First Order’s biggest secrets would be ripe for the taking.

 

The childhood memories dredged up weren’t too embarrassing at least, but they were  _ personal _ . Hux had spent the past two-odd decades distancing himself from his co-workers and eradicating any hints that he might actually be human underneath his uniform, and now the bane of his existence knew more about him than anyone else. And it only took a handful of seconds.

 

The memories passed by in a flash, a jumbled, emotionally heavy mess. Hux only managed to recognize a few specific, isolated incidents himself. Surely the rest was unintelligible to anyone who hadn’t actually experienced it themselves.

 

_ Oh, I understood well enough. Your mom used to sing you to sleep when you were sick. You keep a bottle of perfume that reminds you of her in your desk’s drawer now. You wanted to be a podracer mechanic when you were young until you were told that was a peasant’s job and that your only future lay in the military. Your only childhood friend was a cat. You named it yourself, of course. Nobody else would pick such a prissy name. _

 

**_Stop._ **  Rather than the sharp command he was going for, it came out as more of a plea, despite not being vocalized.

 

_ No, **you** stop. If you want me out of your head, **do** something about it. Focus on your negative emotions and use them to tap into the Force. Stop hesitating. What are you so afraid of? _

 

Not being in complete control of his own body, and accidentally baring his soul to Ren even further.  _ That’s  _ what he was afraid of. But Hux forced himself to do as Ren said, if only because it was the only potential way to stop the onslaught.

 

He closed his eyes and focused as intently as he could, trying to block out Ren’s current activities. He relaxed his white-knuckled grip on his emotions as slowly as he could manage. As he willed that rush of Force energy to move through him again, Hux could swear he felt a tingling replace the pain above his brow. As his anger and torment crashed over his brain like a cresting wave, so too did the tingling, and suddenly Hux  _ understood _ .

 

He could sense the boundary between his mind and Ren’s, could feel the source of Ren’s aura back in his own head a few feet away, could feel the sheer magnitude and frightening depth of the Force residing in the other man, the sizzling heat of which reminded him of Ren’s weapon of choice. He felt as if he’d go blind if he observed it for too long. Starkiller Base was put to shame before construction was even completed, before Hux had even  _ conceived  _ of the idea. What was a mere sun’s raw power in comparison to the awe-inspiring intensity of the Force contained in this single, lone human?

 

Mind reeling, Hux forgot all about about the desecration occurring in his head, too overwhelmed by feeling the Force so concentrated to do more than gasp for air.

 

_ I’m flattered, but do try to focus. _

 

Kylo’s sarcasm snapped him back to the present, as if he had been doused in ice water. Now he understood why guidance was necessary to prevent addiction. If nobody had been there to draw him out, would he have remained there forever, too caught up in his frisson to remember that anything existed beyond the Force’s glory he had been basking in? Hux shuddered at the thought.

 

He could tell that Ren was expanding his mind, thrusting his consciousness outward to encroach on Hux’s. Perhaps the key here was to do the opposite, contracting his own mind to give the other fewer weak spots to exploit.

 

Now that he could sense his own mind and the space it occupied, it was as easy as flexing a muscle, if only a weak, atrophied one. It had the desired effect though, and he felt Ren being forced out a little bit.

 

_ Ahh, very good. I was beginning to wonder if my Master was right about you being unteachable. _

 

At that, Hux strained to tighten the confines of his mind even further. Ren retreated momentarily before rushing back with even more force than before, stretching the invisible membrane keeping him at bay thin before finally breaking through with a biting stab of pain.

 

Hux felt sweat beginning to collect at his brow as he struggled to repair the break, but the damage was already done. Ren was back to sifting through his thoughts, pausing at the multitude of memories where he had foolishly covered for Ren’s destructive habits, downplaying the costs by fudging his expense reports and moving numbers around. His superiors knew hosting the Knight on board the  _ Finalizer  _ was costing them money, but would have been astonished if they learned just how much.

 

_ Why General, I had no idea you cared so much about me. _

 

Hux had never heard the other man chuckle before, but if it sounded anything like the deep rumbling he currently heard in his mind, he’d do almost anything in his power to hear it aurally.

 

**_It would be my arse on the line if they knew I wasn’t able to keep you under control, you imbecile._ **

 

Their mental battle resumed, but Hux was quickly exhausting, his crisply pressed uniform shirt now beginning to dampen with sweat as his chest heaved. The more power Ren put behind his attacks, the better grasp Hux obtained on his current thoughts, as if there was a two-way bridge whenever their minds made contact. He could feel the other man’s rising frustration and contempt.

 

_ I know you’re not **that** weak. You’re still holding back, I can tell. Come **on** , Hux. Use the Force to its full potential and strengthen your defenses. _

 

Hux pushed himself as hard as he could, but still Ren wormed his way in with ease. He could tell when he was beat. He admitted defeat for once, body trembling with exertion.  **_I can’t._ **

 

_ You’re pathetic. Stop whining and just keep. me. **out**. _

 

Hux was too worn out to even put up a fight as Ren’s consciousness slammed into his this time like a rusty blade aimed directly at his brain’s core, getting dangerously close to Hux’s most shameful thoughts in the process. If he looked at those...the thought of never completing their experiment and feeling Ren’s repugnance in his mind as plainly as if it were his own was almost too much to bare, and Hux shouted in desperation, “Ren, I  _ can’t _ !”

 

He opened his eyes wearily, and as Kylo retreated back into his own head, Hux couldn’t help but mourn the loss of neural contact as he was suddenly abandoned in his skull, cold and bereft in his loneliness. That strange, alien presence was the only thing keeping him company now.

 

Ren’s furious gaze looked him over for a tense second. He silently took in Hux’s sweat-soaked uniform and dishevelled hair before he finally stood up, snuffing out the burning charcoal with a careless sweep of his arm, ashes scattering in a small cloud as the Force struck them. “Fine. Fine!”

 

He stomped out of the entryway toward the rest of his quarters, the dramatic exit lessened somewhat by his lack of loud, clomping boots and sweeping robes.

 

Hux took it as his cue to exit, but he was too out of breath to even consider standing up, let alone putting his greatcoat back on and walking through the halls with dignity. Nobody would feel intimidated by him in his current state.

 

He slumped over, forehead nearly touching the floor in front of his crossed legs, aware that exposing his back to an angry Kylo Ren was probably a mistake but too tired to care. He could hear slamming and rattling behind him as Ren grumbled to himself. The grumbling became audible cursing as something glass shattered, and Hux tensed as he heard the stomping footsteps returning. “Ren-”

 

Before he could get another word out, the coffee table that had been levitated to the opposite side of the room earlier dropped back into view in front of him and Ren slammed a glass of water down, a good third of it sloshing out over his hand and onto the table. “Here.”

 

Hux merely stared in confusion for a second. “ _ Drink it _ ,” Ren growled out. Hux complied, although he wasn’t any less confused by Ren’s bizarrely aggressive act of near-kindness. He drained the glass in three gulps.

 

Kylo sat back down on the floor on the opposite side of the table, pinching the bridge of his nose in an effort to calm himself down. It was disconcerting, seeing the man attempting to control himself instead of just pitching a fit. The gesture was almost more like something he would do himself, and it looked out of place on Ren’s body.

 

“So clearly, that wasn’t working. I don’t know what’s blocking you from using the Force, but maybe we should go back to using imagery if that makes it easier for you to make sense of these things.”

 

Hux nodded silently. He was a very visual learner. Trying to determine what invisible, intangible thing he was meant to be doing was proving to be more difficult than he’d anticipated. “I’m ready.”

 

“Are you?” Ren raised an eyebrow again. Irked, Hux replied, “Let’s just do it.”

 

He closed his eyes, slipping into the fantasy easily this time, and waited in front of the stairs for Ren to join him. This time, he felt it when the connection between their minds was rekindled, a little jolt running through him moments before the man materialized before his eyes.

 

“Now try strengthening your mind’s boundaries again.”

 

Hux tried as Ren chose a door at random and used the Force to open the lock, but it was just as fruitless as before and Ren wasn’t even slowed down

 

“Hmm...the Force, it’s on this floor, near the center, correct?” Not waiting for the answer, Kylo turned around, stalking off toward Commandant Hux’s den. Hux followed at a more leisurely pace, confident that a man so in tune with the Force didn’t need his guidance to locate it here.

 

He could feel Ren’s progress as he traversed the labyrinthine hallways anyways, less painful than his earlier attacks. The man brushed his hand against the doorways to get a feel of what kind of memories lay behind them, but otherwise left them alone as he neared the room he was searching for.

 

Hux found himself holding his breath as he caught up just in time to see Ren grab the doorknob to his father’s study, thirsty for even a hint of that euphoric energy.

 

He got more than a hint. A  _ lot  _ more. The sensation was more akin to what he had felt in Ren’s own head, a blinding, numbing upsurge of energy he could feel passing by him, over him,  _ through  _ him, scorching every fiber of his being, and then he was alone again.

 

Confused, he opened his eyes, only to see Ren flat on his back, grinning. “You did it!”

 

“No I didn’t. I don’t know what you did, but that wasn’t  _ me  _ that forced you out of my head.”

 

“What are you talking about? Of course it was!”

 

“That Force might have been coming from inside my head, but it felt different this time. It wasn’t just a lack of control. It was completely unrelated to me. You must have done something wrong.”

 

“That doesn’t make any sense. Here, just try keeping me out again.”

 

Knowing what Ren was about to do, Hux scrambled to tauten the membrane between his thoughts and the outside world, but hardly proved to be much of a challenge to the other man. He grit his teeth and tried ejecting him, but just couldn’t recreate the rush from moments before.

 

Ren retreated, stymied. He brooded for a minute, then suggested, “You should be the one to open that door this time. You’ve had more practice now; you can probably control the Force better.”

 

Leery though he was, Hux had already come to the same conclusion, and he immersed himself in his mind palace again, marching directly to the den as soon as Ren’s presence joined him.

 

He took a deep breath, steeling himself, before grasping the doorknob. He hesitated as he felt his hair standing on end.

 

“Do it,” Ren urged, so he did.

 

It was much like the first time he released the Force, and he felt the chaotic strands of energy arcing through his head and down his arms. He couldn’t even think straight, let alone harness this much power and use it to strengthen his mental defenses.

 

“No, Hux,  _ control  _ it-”

 

Both men severed the connection and jumped to their feet simultaneously at the loud crash echoing through Ren’s quarters, Hux drawing his blaster and Ren calling his lightsaber to his hand. Covering one another’s back, they quickly scanned the room for the source of the noise.

 

“Oh.” The end table, now split in two, was on the opposite side of the room from where Ren had placed it before, and above it was a sizeable dent in the wall, right below head level. Hux flushed, embarrassed at his lack of control even if it wasn’t necessarily his fault.

 

“And here I thought being a control freak was going to make this easier for you. I thought you’d have no trouble being dominating and breaking the Force like a wild mustang. You never cease to surprise me, Hux.”

 

Ren started laughing quietly to himself. Hux attempted to glower at him, but Ren’s laughter soon proved contagious in his weary state and he joined in.

 

Their laughter soon began to subside, but Ren still looked so preternaturally happy that Hux’s stomach clenched again and he feared he might do something disastrous. With a great deal of effort, he took a step back to collect himself.

 

“I...think I’m done for the night, Ren. It’s unlikely I’ll improve without further rest, but I feel like we made decent progress tonight.”

 

“I agree. Because you’re using the Force mentally, sleep is imperative. Go and rest, and once you’re back at peak performance we can continue with your training. We’ll work in here from now on for the incense.”

 

The thought of spending even more alone time in Ren’s quarters, intimately brushing minds and laughing together, made Hux dizzy and a little nauseous, and he quickly donned his outer layers and cap after finger-combing his hair into looking halfway decent. Ren just watched him quietly, an unreadable expression on his face.

 

Hux stepped out into the hallway, and just as the doors began to close, he heard a soft “Good night, General” coming from inside.

 

He sighed. “Good night, you infuriating, vexing creature,” he mumbled to the closed door before setting off down the hall.

 

Thanks to the incense, Ren’s smell had soaked into his greatcoat, his uniform, his  _ hair _ . He resolutely ignored how the entity in his head practically purred at the realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, 2 things:
> 
> A) The incense burner is my explanation for the pile of ashes Kylo plunked his helmet into while interrogating Rey. Seriously, WTF was that? Don't try claiming they were Vader's ashes, because I have a long list of reasons why that's unfeasible.
> 
> B) I couldn't resist including Millicent in there somewhere, sorry


	11. This is a very special technique that I have never seen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up for those of you who already read this chapter before: I realized incredibly late that Hahn would be pronounced the exact same way as Han Solo, which makes it a stupid name to randomly stick in here. I switched it to Ivek instead, so don't get confused!

The problem with working with Kylo Ren was that while he snooped around so much he probably even knew what Hux had for breakfast, Hux didn’t have a clue about Ren’s current assignments himself unless he was directly involved.

 

It had taken four suspiciously quiet days for Hux to give in and inquire about the Knight’s whereabouts, then two more for the man to show up again. Rather than savor the more relaxed, peaceful atmosphere on his ship now that their main source of chaos was gone, he had spent the nights tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable. There was an indistinct malaise about his mind preventing him from unwinding at the end of his shifts.

 

Cursing himself for his weakness, Hux found that he was craving another lesson with Kylo, if only for the incense. It really _was_ relaxing. He even considered breaking into Ren’s quarters with his override code to see if he could find where he was stashing the fragrant resin, but he wouldn’t put it past the man to install some sort of booby trap or alarm if anyone dared to enter while he was away. He’d have a rather hard time explaining his way out of that one.

 

Instead, the quickly fading scent clinging to his greatcoat would have to do. He tried sleeping with it draped over his pillow a few times, and it seemed to help a little against all odds. He refused to be shamed by how soon he climaxed the night he gave in to his bodily urges and pleasured himself while pressing his face to said pillow, too. Masturbation was a known relaxation and stress reduction technique, and by bringing himself off as quickly as possible, he was simply being efficient. The fact that he was breathing in Ren’s scent on his personal belongings, his damn _uniform_ , had little to do with it, as did his fantasies of performing the act in Ren’s quarters instead of his own.

 

Well, maybe they did play a significant role in his swift release, but that wasn’t important. It didn’t even help him relax, anyways. He just couldn’t shake the disquietude from his mind, and he stayed on edge the whole time Ren was gone.

 

From the looks of things, Kylo didn’t fare much better. Their quarters were relatively close to one another, and Hux happened upon him on his way to the bridge. Ren was slumped against the wall, in the middle of removing his helmet prematurely as the doors to his quarters were opening. He either heard or sensed Hux’s presence, and when he turned to glare in his direction, his face was sallow, with a large, yellowing bruise occupying the left side of his face from brow to cheekbone.

 

“Oh, you’ve returned, Lord Ren. What did the Supreme Leader need his precious lapdog for this time? Hopefully nothing too important, since you obviously ran into trouble, as usual. That’s quite the mark you’ve earned yourself there.” Hux asked, gesturing in the general direction of his face.

 

Ren bristled. “If the details of my mission were relevant to yourself, you would have been briefed on them already, General. You’d be better off focusing on your own endeavors and ensuring that I don’t hear you speaking ill of Master Snoke again in my presence. The actions of my Knights don’t concern you.”

 

Hux was actually taken aback. He and Kylo certainly weren’t _friendly_ , but they had been acting a little more civil to each other as of late, with fewer snippy remarks. His comment wasn’t nearly rude enough to warrant such a hostile tone of voice in return. He recovered quickly, lip pulling back in his customary sneer as he considered which insult to respond with.

 

Before he got a chance, however, Ren sighed, scowl softening a bit. “It was just a training exercise at an ancient Force nexus in the Outer Rim, fairly routine. One of my Knights perished though. His corpse was left behind at the nexus so that it might increase the dark side’s power there.”

 

“I didn’t realize your training was so...risky.” There weren’t many Knights of Ren to go around, Hux knew, and for Snoke to hazard losing one accidentally seemed a little out of character.

 

The expression that passed over Ren’s face could almost be called a smile, albeit a grim, unamused one. “It’s not. Unless you repeatedly fail to meet the Supreme Leader’s expectations, that is. We were tasked with making an offering to the Force while planetside and he proved himself useful for once.”

 

“Ah,” Hux said simply, catching on. He wondered if it was Ren’s job to execute his own inferiors, or if the Knight was brutally torn apart by his comrades. He deserved it either way if he wasn’t pulling his own weight in their war efforts, though, and he felt no sympathy for whoever the man was. “I’ve been attempting to meditate every night in lieu of training myself, so if-”

 

“No. Not tonight.” He sighed, looking more exhausted by the second. Was it possible to use the Force to keep yourself conscious and alert? Because it appeared as if Ren had literally not slept the entire time he was gone, now that he was getting a closer look. “I’ll inform you when I have time to train you further. For now, just continue as you were.” He slipped into his quarters and was gone.

 

Kylo took five more days (Of convalescence? Rest? More training? Hux had no clue what the man actually did on board most of the time, besides interfering with his crew’s work.) before sending a terse direct message to Hux’s datapad: “I’m ready for you tonight. 2330, my quarters again.”

 

Hux’s stomach flip-flopped a bit when he opened the message, infuriating him to no end. He felt a bit like a teenager planning a clandestine meeting with his secret lover in the middle of the night. Ren’s vague wording didn’t help. Without context, anyone who saw the message would probably come to a similar conclusion, leading Hux to suspect the innuendo was on purpose again.

 

There were three options: Hux was being genuinely propositioned, Ren knew of Hux’s feelings and was subtly ridiculing him, or the man was socially inept and had no idea how his words could be misconstrued so easily. He was leaning toward the latter; the man wasn’t exactly known for his stellar interpersonal skills.

 

At least this time he had something to keep him busy in the meantime, but an hour before he was scheduled to meet with Kylo, he set his paperwork aside, anxiety slowly creeping back in.

 

He considered wearing his workout clothes this time. It would make sitting on the floor more comfortable, but what would the Stormtroopers think if he got caught wearing such casual clothing in the halls, and while slipping out of Kylo Ren’s room in the wee hours of the morning no less? Then again, what would they have thought if they had witnessed him leaving last time in his rumpled, sweat-soaked uniform, still red-faced and out of breath? A compromise, then: His training pants and moisture-wicking shirt, but with his uniform boots and greatcoat on top to maintain his dignity while in the hallway.

 

He felt better prepared for whatever Ren had in store for him this time, too. He had been speaking the truth about meditating nightly, continuing the practice even though it was originally just part of his attempts to relax.

 

He’d actually been sleeping great the past five nights. The malaise had vanished, and the foreign presence in his brain had been quiet and content as well. He couldn’t tell if it was responding to his emotions or influencing them, which was a troubling thought. He made a note to ask Ren about it when he had a chance, even though it was harmless (probably).

 

Kylo was actually ready this time, with the furniture pushed out of the way and incense lit by the time Hux requested entry at 2320 on the dot, ten minutes early as always. Perhaps Hux could make a proper military man of him yet.

 

“You’re a fast learner, so I think you’re ready for something more difficult, Hux. I’m going to delve into your subconscious tonight. This is where it starts getting more painful for you, even if you don’t resist me at all.”

 

“Ah, I was wondering why you said training was going to hurt so much when it hasn’t been too terrible yet.”

 

“The human mind doesn’t like having a direct connection between the subconscious and conscious, and the instinctive need to close that opening is where most of the pain originates. The rest of it comes from your body essentially trying to reject a foreign body, but since you’re Force-sensitive that won’t be a problem. And because you’ll be letting me in willingly and you’re more aware of how to manipulate your mind through biofeedback now, it shouldn’t be unbearable for you unless I delve too deep. You hopefully won’t faint like our prisoners, at least.”

 

“Why do you even need to access their subconscious if you’re capable of forcing them to think of what you want to know? It seemed like you pushed my thoughts in whatever direction you wanted.”

 

“For efficiency, mostly. It took some work to interpret the bits and pieces you showed me, plus I mostly just felt emotions and heard verbal thoughts. The images were foggy, in a way.

 

Within the subconscious, everything noteworthy you’ve ever experienced is saved in great detail, even if you think you can’t remember it, and it’s especially good for _visual_ memories. If someone caught just a glimpse of sensitive documents, or maps, or saw someone we’re searching for in passing, it might have been too fleeting of a glance for them to consciously pull up any details. But by freely searching their subconscious, I can see what they originally saw and pick through it in a way that they can’t.”

 

Hux felt queasy. Kylo Ren, sifting through not just his thoughts, but every single one of his memories in perfect visual detail? He couldn’t imagine a scenario where this ended well for himself. Still, they were making great progress considering he had no prior experience with the Force, and if he managed to block Ren out even partially, it would be a major breakthrough.

 

Kylo continued on, oblivious to Hux’s internal struggle. “Of course, it’s not always necessary, but I don’t want word to get out that I let some people who stood in my way get off easy. My reputation would suffer, as would the First Order’s.”

 

“Your reputation as what? A big hulking brute who goes around destroying others’ property when he’s grouchy? You just act like a spoiled brat with a dangerous toy, Ren.”

 

Kylo didn’t take the bait, showing restraint for once. “Enough stalling, Hux. Let’s get to work. You’ll sweat a lot and knowing how far removed from actual combat you are, I wouldn’t be surprised if you cried, so you might want to take off your precious coat, or at least put your arms in the damn sleeves where they belong. You don’t want it falling off your shoulders while you writhe about in pain.”

 

Hux rolled his eyes, but removed his greatcoat, boots, and gloves and sat on the floor again, feeling even more self conscious than last time in his short-sleeved, tight fitting shirt. He unabashedly watched Kylo strip his robes off, committing the sight to memory. If Kylo looked at all of his most shameful thoughts, this small guilty pleasure would be the least of his concerns.

 

When Kylo joined him on the floor, he sat down closer than last time, their knees almost touching. He must have sensed Hux’s confusion and unease, because he explained, “It won’t be as painful if I can touch you. It helps direct the flow of the Force from my mind to yours, so I won’t have to put so much strength into my attack.”

 

“I’m not afraid of pain, Ren. Please don’t hold back because you think I can’t handle it.”

 

This time it was Kylo’s turn to roll his eyes. “I need you to keep your head enough to actually defend your mind at some point. If you’re in too much pain to focus on your surroundings, then all I’m doing is torturing you pointlessly.”

 

“Fine,” Hux said, grinding his teeth.

 

“Just begin with the deep breathing and meditating, and try relaxing your defenses. I’ll eventually touch my hand to your head, and that’s when I’ll enter your mind and start working towards your subconscious. Don’t fight back for now. Wait until you’re more familiar with the sensation. Ready?”

 

No, not in the slightest. “Yes.” He’d be damned if he was going to back out now, though.

 

Meditation was becoming easier and easier to Hux, and now that he was in the presence of real incense, it only took a few deep breaths for him to relax enough. He relaxed the tight grip he had on his consciousness, allowing his mind to spread out a bit. After a few minutes, he heard the rustle of fabric coming from the general direction of the other man. When the touch came, it was surprisingly gentle, Kylo’s fingertips just barely pressed to the side of his head with his thumb against his temple.

 

Sharing his mind with another person was becoming easier too. Once the novelty of the situation wore off, it was...cozy, almost. It felt crowded for sure, and Kylo Ren was one of the worst roommates he could think of to share anything with, but it was better than the bitter loneliness that plagued his adult years.

 

Kylo wasn’t going through his memories just yet, but a dull ache started to build in the back of his head as he felt him nudging forward, bit by bit. As the seconds passed, the pain increased exponentially, rising to a pounding migraine as he automatically resisted the pressure.

 

Reminded of what kind of depraved images Ren might witness if he continued, he began to struggle against the onslaught even harder. This was worse than any headache he had ever experienced; his adolescent hangovers were mild inconveniences compared to this. He was soaked in sweat and no longer capable of forming coherent sentences, even mentally, but the litany of tangled thoughts racing through his brain could essentially be summed up by the word “no.”

 

“Shh. Relax, Hux. Just let me in.”

 

Shocked to hear Ren’s voice so near to his face, Hux opened his eyes. Kylo had brought his face within inches of his own, and that predatory look from the night he was healed was back.

 

Trapped under such intense scrutiny, Hux couldn’t focus on anything but the flecks of honey and amber in Kylo’s dark irises and the constellation of moles and faint freckles on his cheekbones, the ugly bruise now faded into nonexistence. He stopped resisting, and the spark that signified Ren’s presence slipped in through the cracks. It still hurt, _badly_ , but it was kind of a good pain, like sore muscles the day after a long workout.

 

As the sweat cooled on his skin, Hux felt goosebumps form all along his exposed arms. Or maybe they were from staring into Kylo’s eyes while baring his deepest, most vulnerable parts to him. This whole thing was intimate on a level he’d never experienced before, and Kylo’s entire palm was pressed up against Hux’s head now, practically cradling it.

 

With a connection this strong, Ren’s thoughts and emotions were leaking through even more than in their previous meetings, and Hux could tell that he was enjoying being in someone else’s head without completely ransacking it and causing irreparable damage for once. Kylo was even more isolated from his peers than Hux. It appeared that the only people he interacted with beyond insults, threats, and contempt were the Supreme Leader, his Knights, and Hux himself.

 

It was like being in an echo chamber, feeling his own loneliness being amplified and mirrored back to him. Presumably, Ren couldn’t tell how much he was sharing through their connection, because there was no way he would willingly let Hux know that much about himself.

 

“I’m going to pull up some of your memories now. Stay relaxed and don’t tense up again.”

 

An impossible stinging itch, like a cluster of Kubindi msqito bites, sprang up inside Hux’s head, and before he could react he was reliving the day he met his fiancee. They barely bothered getting to know one another before stating their terms for the marriage contract that was to be drafted within the next few weeks.

  


_“I know our families are expecting me to bear you children. I don’t intend to shirk my duties as your wife, but I feel obligated to inform you that sexual congress will be extremely limited beyond what is necessary for conception to occur. I am not sexually attracted to men whatsoever. I will, of course, turn a blind eye to any sexual partners you have outside of our marriage, so long as it’s done discreetly, and I expect you to extend the same courtesy to myself.”_

 

_Zyra, a doctor, was very upfront and had a habit of speaking in proper, technical terms, a trait Hux had grown to appreciate in the short time he had known her before going offplanet. There was no guesswork or passive aggressiveness involved in their pseudo-relationship._

 

_“Well, it looks like we’re a better match than I was expecting. I don’t find women particularly appealing, myself. Rather than a typical marriage, might I suggest we look at this as a mutually beneficial business arrangement that helps keep both of our families out of our personal lives?”_

 

_She smiled then, the first genuine sign of happiness Hux had seen from her. He still wasn’t pleased about being forced to marry a near-stranger, but at least he knew he would get along with this strange woman with a spark of rebelliousness in her eye._

  


Hux felt himself being drawn back out of the memory, hit with a wave of confusion, shock, and something suspiciously optimistic coming from Kylo.

 

“Why are you so surprised? I explicitly told you it was a lavender marriage.”

 

“I...It’s just...Imperial families like yours are so old fashioned...I just thought they wouldn’t approve of their only son being a bit of a sexual deviant.”

 

“They _don’t_ , you ninny. That’s why I had to marry a woman. Weren’t you paying attention?”

 

Ren was blushing a bit, clearly flustered, and began poking around again without answering.

  


_“Brendol? What are you doing up? It’s almost 0430, love.”_

 

Hearing and seeing Ivek again hit Hux like a punch to the gut, and he felt a lump in his real throat while the scene continued against his will.

 

_“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up...I just can’t shake this weird feeling that something horrible is about to happen. I thought maybe a glass of brandy would help me fall back asleep.”_

 

_Ivek laughed, the memory preserving him flawlessly, even down to his uneven dimples and slightly overlapping teeth. “Aw, you always worry too much. Come back to bed and I’ll give you a well overdue lesson on how to properly relax…”_

 

_His arms circled about Hux’s waist, one hand slipping down to grab at his ass possessively, and he stooped to mouth at Hux’s collarbone, drawing a small groan from his past self. Ivek always knew exactly what to do to calm his nerves._

  


“What happened with him?” Ren’s tone was almost scolding, as if he had just witnessed Hux fraternizing with the enemy and took personal offense.

 

“He was killed in a hyperdrive accident less than a week later. He was selected for a special training exercise and was sent off planet, and the starship hadn’t been properly inspected in ages. The transpacitor and hyperspace shunt both failed.”

 

Ivek had been his first and only serious lover, and the grief Hux had silently suffered through at the Academy was enough to cause him to swear off personal relationships forever. The only good thing to come from the end of their brief romance was that adhering to protocol for scheduled maintenance was at the top of Hux’s list of priorities as soon as he was given his own ship to command. Nobody else’s starship in the fleet ran smoother.

  


_“Ow._ **_Ow._ ** _Slow down, Zak!”_

 

_“Sorry, sorry! You’re just so kriffing tight!”_

 

_Hux had never cared for Zak too much. He had a limited number of potential partners to choose from in his teen years, though, and he seemed as good as any to lose his virginity to. Good thing he didn’t place much value on his purity, because it was a rather disappointing experience from start to finish, especially when witnessing it in retrospect._

 

_Zak finished in less than two minutes. Hux’s own erection had never recovered after Zak’s halfassed job of preparing him, and Zak either erroneously assumed he had climaxed at some point or just didn’t care, as he left soon after with nothing more than a “See you later, hot stuff!” and a swat to Hux’s sore backside._

  


“ _Kriff_ , Ren. You have an entire lifetime of memories to choose from, and you dive in and pick _that?_ Creep.”

 

He didn’t make an attempt to kick Kylo out of his head despite his anger, both because it seemed futile and because he was curious where he was going with all of this. He wasn’t really embarrassed by his sexual history; he just thought it was weird for the other man to be focusing exclusively on his previous partners.

 

Ren began skimming through his memories, that vague optimism from earlier growing stronger by the minute as the scenes flashed through their minds in quick succession.

  


_The growing apprehension he felt the first time he allowed Ivek to tie him up, wrists bound to the bedposts, and the pleasure he felt at letting someone else take charge for once  -  His self destructive period following Ivek’s death where he took it upon himself to suck off as many humanoids as possible during his free time, losing count of his number of partners due to his perpetual hungover state  -  The shameful way his body responded to Kylo’s innocent words of praise during their first experiment in the training room, heart rate ramping up and cock twitching -  The desire he felt stirring in his belly the night Kylo invaded his personal quarters to heal his wrist and turn his knees to jelly with that heated look in his eye  -  His recent orgasm precipitated by three fingers from his left hand massaging his prostate while his right hand furiously stroked his cock, mind entirely focused on the way Ren’s smell saturated his most prized possessions and the thought of returning the favor by masturbating in the other man’s room and spilling his seed on that luxurious bed  -   A favorite fantasy of his, the one where Kylo Ren laid him down on the briefing room’s table after a staff meeting, fucking him without even getting undressed or removing his helmet, his moans and gasps distorted by the vocoder and the harsh overhead lights glinting off the mask’s menacing features  -_

  


Something about the last memory shocked Ren to the core, his hand dropping limply to his knee, and Hux took the opportunity presented by his distraction to launch a counter assault, mortified by his depravity being played out in high definition for Ren’s amusement and mockery. Kylo’s invasion of his privacy had gone too damn far, and he wanted to pay the man back.

 

Ignoring his burning cheeks and ears, he took a deep breath, carefully released the Force, and focused intently on the edges of the other man’s energy signature, hoping to find a weak spot. There were several. Whatever Kylo was busy trying to figure out, it distracted him to the point where all it took was a few nudges on Hux’s part to break through.

 

It was as if a dam had burst. He was expecting to have to purposely read his mind the way Ren always seemed to, but he instead had little control over what he was seeing and hearing. Acting on instinct alone, he began poring over his exposed memories, hoping to find something incriminating but still not sure how to categorically search for anything or nudge the thoughts in a specific direction.

 

They were harder to interpret than he anticipated, as well. Ren was right about them lacking visuals for the most part, but even the verbal thoughts were vague and ambiguous when they contained more of an impression of words than actual sentences. There was no single train of thought, but rather multiple processes occurring at once, interweaving to form a complex, fast paced narrative where Kylo’s mind was constantly taking in new information and comparing it to his previous experiences.

 

Ren remained relaxed and allowed Hux to continue with his fumbling, pleased to see him taking initiative and expanding his abilities. Despite slogging his way through past memories, Hux could also feel that his surroundings were laced with Kylo’s current amusement too, mixed with a swelling sense of pride. Was he congratulating _himself_ for Hux’s success? He was supposed to be giving Ren a taste of his own medicine, not just keeping him entertained. That wouldn’t do.

 

Thoroughly nettled by Ren’s audacity, Hux doubled his efforts, repeating to himself that _embarrassing_ memories were the goal here. It worked, at least a little bit. He still couldn’t slow the rush of thoughts or pick through them, but the point of view shifted from Kylo Ren, master of Supreme Leader Snoke’s elite Knights, to Ben Solo, socially awkward child who never quite felt like he belonged anywhere.

 

The things Kylo remembered, like being carried on his degenerate father’s shoulders, or how his mother read to him every night before bed, or his annual family vacations where the three of them actually went _camping,_ sleeping on the ground and hanging their food from a tree like a pack of feral wampas...They were personal and painted Ren as an actual living, breathing human being rather than a sort of emotionless wraith lurking in the _Finalizer_ ’s corridors, and therefore should have provided plenty ammunition for humiliating the man.

 

But the memories were tainted with such a crushing sense of heartbreak and loss and anguish and _regret_ that Hux just wanted to forget he ever saw them. He didn’t want to know _that_ much about Kylo, he didn’t want to see any sort of doubts or hesitations regarding his position as Snoke’s lackey, and he _really_ didn’t want to accidentally start caring about the man.

 

Kylo’s amusement had faded, but since he still had yet to confront Hux, he re-focused on the task at hand, trying to limit his search to only ones formed as an adult.

 

There were more of them, and they were clearer than the soft focus of the childhood memories, which had blurred and faded with age. Here there was more imagery involved; he saw Snoke’s mangled face, contorted with rage and looking uglier than ever the first time Ren failed one of his numerous endurance tests, the shoddily made prototypes of his beloved helmet he had constructed as he attempted to teach himself to weld with the Force, the nondescript black door in his quarters Hux had previously assumed led to a mostly empty closet...Wait, what?

 

Curious about what secrets Ren kept in his closet (Clothes with actual _color_ to them? Twenty identical sets of robes? A shrine dedicated to his obvious Darth Vader fetish?), he tried to go back to that particular image, finally succeeding after a few wrong turns. He was getting better at navigating Kylo’s mind now that it was more familiar.

 

It wasn’t just one memory associated with the door, but dozens, and it wasn’t a closet at all, it was...a bizarre vault, empty but for a chair and a melted chunk of plasteel on a dramatically lit pedestal in the center. Apparently, his Darth Vader shrine idea was disturbingly accurate. Kylo spent an awful lot of time in his creepy little dungeon, staring intently at his grandfather’s cremains and...talking to them?

 

**_What the actual frak, Ren._ **

 

_It’s a reliquary. I find it helpful to meditate on what he would have done in my position since I never got to experience his wisdom firsthand._

 

Kylo’s mental voice was hesitant, and it was surprisingly deep, more rounded out than it sounded in person. It was a great improvement over the distortion his vocoder caused, and it was almost a shame nobody on board got to experience it sounding like this. Almost. Even Hux usually did as much as possible to avoid having to talk to Ren, after all.

 

**_Why are you letting me do this? Why are you sharing all of this with me so readily?_ **

 

 _I wouldn’t be where I am in life if it wasn’t for my past, and I’m not particularly embarrassed by anything you’ve seen so far. It’s fascinating how quickly you’re learning and I don’t want to hinder your progress. But mostly, I’m just taking advantage of the fact that I_ **_can_ ** _share this with you. Everyone else either has to be kept out at all cost or shares my headspace without my say in the matter, so it’s nice having a choice for the first time in my life._

 

Ren’s honesty was sobering. The two of them were absolutely pathetic, both so lonesome that they’d found comfort in infiltrating their enemy’s brain. It was disgusting, really.

 

Determined to find something that would kill Kylo’s soppy mood, he returned to his mission, sifting through with increasing accuracy. He learned that the crossguards on his lightsaber wasn’t for looks or protecting his hand, but became necessary because the whole thing was poorly built and dangerously unstable (not the least bit surprising), and that Kylo had stumbled into walls from his limited field of vision and tripped on his own robes a handful of times while on board, wiping the memories of any witnesses. They were amusing, but not _humiliating_. Where were all the memories of his own awkward first times, his lackluster partners, his own perverse fantasies?

 

He couldn’t find any involving another person, but there were a handful of memories revolving around Kylo bringing himself off, all alone in his quarters. Of course. How would that overgrown delinquent ever manage to seduce anyone into his bed?

 

There was nothing particularly unusual about the memories passing by. The remembered sensation of his first prostate orgasm, happening so quickly it caught him by surprise. The days where he had nothing better to do, and had enough free time to draw the experience out as long as possible. The time he got so turned on by seeing someone’s bare hands he practically ran back to his room and climaxed after just a few rough tugs, too turned on by imagining those hands on him to do more than lean against his closed door and jerk off with his hand in his trousers (Okay, that one was a _little_ weird. Hands, really?). The night Hux had suddenly appeared in the doorway to his bedroom just minutes after he reached into his pajamas and began teasing himself to full hardness by lightly stroking his shaft and massaging his balls, surprising him so badly that he automatically tried to cover himself by pulling his comforter up to his chin.

 

 **_Oh, Ren, that’s_ ** **disgusting** **_. Is that why you were acting so weird and guilty that night? Ugh, you touched me with your filthy hands while I was unconscious, too._ **

 

Kylo responded with the mental equivalent of a shrug. Truly, the man had no shame.

 

Spurred on by his total lack of concern, along with a need to distract himself from the way his own body perked up at the thought of Kylo masturbating, Hux mimicked his hand position from earlier and attempted to invade the deeper layers of Ren’s mind for the first time. He had never actually been taught how to identify them in anyone’s mind but his own, and Ren definitely never mentioned how to _access_ them, but since he wasn’t putting up a fight at all, Hux managed soon enough. All it took was narrowing the energy he was projecting to better bore down to Ren’s subconscious. He likened it to focusing his mind’s eye on something a few inches away rather than on the distant horizon.

 

The sheer immensity of the memories accumulated here was staggering, but it was better organized, stored more or less in chronological order. It was almost like performing a search on the Holonet, where everything was tagged with relevant keywords. All he had to do was decide on further exploring Kylo’s peculiar hand fetish, and the related memories were conveniently pulled out for him to take his time perusing. He chose the same memory he had already partially experienced and allowed himself to be immersed in the scene playing out from the other man’s point of view.

  


_Normally he’d be thrilled to learn that Hux’s skills were improving and that he was learning on his own time, but all he felt was panic when Hux’s sharp signal of distress burst through his mind, and Kylo leaped to his feet without thinking. It was brief, but in that fraction of a second he could feel Hux’s pain, shock, and confusion burning through every synapse, and he let his imagination get the best of him._

 

_A rudimentary Force bond had been forming between the two of them (a fact he kept to himself lest Hux get weirded out and call off their training), but it shouldn’t be strong enough for a new, untrained Force user to project like that unless they were under extreme duress. He had a duty to protect his apprentice if he was being threatened now that they were bonded._

 

_It was a short distance to Hux’s living quarters, and he sprinted the entire way, blasting a few unfortunate stormtroopers blocking the hall to the side with a careless sweep of his arm before doing the same to Hux’s door. Expecting to find Hux in the process of being tortured by Resistance spies or murdered by one of his underlings, he was startled to see him alone, hunched over on the floor and cradling his arm. Was he wounded?_

 

_The relief he felt at finding such a minor amount of damage was cool and sweet, but was quickly replaced by fire licking through his veins at the realization that Hux was ungloved. He had never seen the general’s hands before. They starred in numerous fantasies of his, pulling his hair, caressing his skin, applying just enough pressure to his throat to make him dizzy, but the phantom hands he imagined always had gloves on, even when stroking his cock._

 

_He had known they were small and thin, the complete opposite of his own masculine hands, and he could have guessed they were as white as the rest of him, but seeing them so exposed like this was downright indecent. They were nearly translucent from the lack of sunlight and blemish-free. Or at least they were until now. The laser had marred the skin, causing blisters that spread across Hux’s wrist, and wasn’t that a shame._

 

_Driven equally by a lingering urge to protect his apprentice and a need to reach out and touch those erotic hands, he offered to heal Hux, something he never would have done in the past. He would have sneered at him, made a rude comment about his poor choice of hobby and sloppy craftsmanship, and then left him to deal with the burn himself. Spending so much time together was starting to make him act a little odd lately._

 

_He practically started drooling when Hux offered up his hands, and the noises he made combined with the slackjawed, unfocused look on his face during the process was enough for Kylo’s cock to begin stirring despite his best efforts._

 

 _He wanted. He didn’t know_ **_what_ ** _exactly, he just knew he’d take whatever Hux would give him right now, even if it was just his words and his limp, motionless hand still resting in his own._

 

_Hux’s other naked hand stroking over the skin on his wrist was entirely unexpected, however, and he fought to keep his composure and not begin outright panting. His cock was throbbing now, so intense was his desire for the general. Thankfully his robes concealed the incriminating evidence, and his self control was great enough that Hux didn’t suspect anything._

 

_Or did he? He seemed to find something exhilarating in Kylo’s expression, pupils dilating but eyes still looking wary. The small gap between their increasingly flushed faces began to shrink, and it took a few moments for Kylo to notice it was his own doing, while Hux remained frozen in place._

 

_Clearly, he was confused and disturbed by Kylo’s actions and too frightened to move away, possibly worried about inducing one of his legendary fits of rage. Any reciprocal attraction Hux may have began feeling toward him as of late was overshadowed by something else._

 

 _It was best to keep it that way, anyways. Kylo fought for so long to isolate himself from all temptations toward the Light, from any of Ben’s weaknesses that still remained. To risk undoing any of his hard work because of an instinctive need to rut like an animal, with_ **_General Hux_ ** _of all people, would be a horrible idea._

 

_It wasn’t easy, but he pulled back with a sudden movement, averting his gaze to avoid being drawn back into their staring contest. It was best to keep their relationship one hundred percent professional, at least until Hux decided what he wanted. For now he would simply pretend this encounter never happened._

 

_Or at least in Hux’s presence he would. When he was alone was an entirely different matter, and he couldn’t get the image of the high and mighty General Hux, blushing, sweaty, and panting for him out of his mind as he stomped back to his own quarters. His skin burned where Hux hands had been pressed against him._

 

_By the time he made it to his room, his prick was leaking, soaking through his undergarments. He didn’t bother heading into the bedroom or even sitting down before touching himself, just reached into his trousers and collapsed against the door when his knees threatened to give out. He never put much stock in patience, anyways._

 

_He came almost instantly, feeling dirty and shameful the moment it was over. The master of the Knights of Ren shouldn’t have to resort to stuffing his hand down his pants and playing with himself just because another man touched his arm and dared to look him directly in the eye. He’d have to be more careful not to let Hux affect him like that again._

  


“...Oh.” Whatever Hux had been expecting to see in Kylo’s vision, _that_ wasn’t it. At least he knew he wasn’t imagining things now.

 

Withdrawing from Ren’s head and fighting a wave of nausea from the disorientation of momentarily occupying two separate bodies, he looked to Ren, finding the other man staring at him with poorly concealed hope in his soulful eyes.

 

“Shut up.”

 

Ren’s expression switched to one of confusion. “I didn’t-”

 

“No, if I'm actually going to do this, I need you to just keep your mouth shut for once. I can’t believe you rooted around in my head and humiliated me like that if you _knew_ I was attracted to you. I thought you were just enjoying my emotional torment.”   


“I was. I may like your physical appearance, but I still take great pleasure in being the largest source of aggravation and discord in your life.”

 

Hux scowled. “I loathe you.”

 

“I know.” Kylo’s smirk was probably supposed to be charming, but it looked so stupid on his overly-wide mouth it was both annoying and endearing at once.

  
“Just get over here, you _ass_.” Hux still had his fingers on Kylo’s temple, and he shifted them to comb through his soft, non-regulation length hair before grabbing a handful and hauling him down to his level, lips meeting in a heated kiss fueled by months (Years? The line between passionate dislike and desire could be fuzzy sometimes.) of repressed desire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the last chapter, but it was going to end up way too long and you've all been waiting so patiently, so I decided to split it. The next one's going to be virtually all porn. Possibly kind of weird porn, depending on my mood.


	12. How to Properly Scream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here you are folks, over 7000 words of unrepentant pornography! There's virtually zero plot here, so you can skip this whole chapter if that's not your cup of tea. I do have some kinda important notes at the bottom, though.

There was no hesitation or shyness on Kylo’s part; he immediately matched and then surpassed Hux’s enthusiasm, quickly turning their kiss into some sort of sloppy, juvenile necking session.

 

Kylo broke away with a snort. “Really, Hux? _Necking?_ What are you, 100 years old?”

 

Hux stammered incoherently for a moment, mind coming to a near complete stop. He never felt Kylo pressing against his mind. Was it possible for him to conceal his presence and secretly prowl around in there whenever he felt like it? He’d never mentioned anything like that during any of their discussions.

 

“There’s no need for paranoia. You didn’t sever the link between our minds properly, so you were projecting a bit.”

 

“Then do something about it!” Hux was flustered, embarrassed for too many reasons to count. He knew from experience that the humiliation caused by blushing would only make it worse, and already it was spreading to his ears and neck. It was a revolting, uncontrollable cycle.

 

“I am,” Kylo said as he leaned back in, slower this time. He had more finesse than Hux thought when he wasn’t so frantic, and his hands were gentle when he ran them through Hux’s hair, loosening the hold of his hair gel.

 

It felt too nice for Hux to complain about his hair being mussed, and he allowed himself to relax in Kylo’s hold, even as the hands began to stray, groping at his body.

 

How long had it been since he had been touched like this by another living, breathing human being? Years, definitely, unless he counted the time a closeted dignitary at a political function dragged him into the fresher for a rushed handjob. He had gotten any desire for mediocre one night stands out of his system in his Academy days, and as a high ranking military officer there was nobody on board he could so much as make suggestive comments to without being written up.

 

He had known Kylo was his only realistic option at this point. The situation didn’t make him feel vulnerable like he imagined though, now that they were on more equal footing in terms of unwillingly exposed secrets and childhood memories.

 

They separated to catch their breath, but neither one was willing to pull away from the others’ warmth, instead keeping their mouths just centimeters apart and sharing the recycled air between them. Hux was panting already, body still recovering from the assault on his subconscious just minutes ago, and sweat was causing a few loosened strands of hair to stick to his forehead. Kylo’s nose was digging into his cheek.  

 

The way he was staring at Hux made him uncomfortable. It was no longer the sharply focused look of a vornskr planning to strike, but the naked, needy look of someone craving validation. It was a look of _trust_. This wasn’t turning out to be the emotionally distant hate fuck he was expecting.

 

Wanting an excuse to avert his eyes, Hux brought his hands down to Kylo’s tunic, fiddling with the hem. “Can I-”

 

“Yes. _Anything._ ”

 

Hux began rucking it up, gasping lightly when Ren helped, pulling it over his head. The bruise on his cheekbone was the least of his injuries, apparently.

 

He brushed his hands over the new blemishes in Kylo’s skin. There were the remains of a deep cut directly over his heart, where the scab had recently fallen off to reveal pink skin, a smattering of what looked like electrical burns on his back, and two mottled bruises on his side, still shockingly dark.

 

“What _happened_ to you?”

 

“It’s not an easy task to take down a Knight of Ren. It was in vain, but he stood his ground and fought to the very end despite knowing his fate, so at least he didn’t fail our Master in that regard. Some of my ribs were cracked.”

 

He whined a little when Hux dug his fingers into the bruises, grinding against the thigh Hux wedged between his legs.

 

“ _Pfassk_ , Ren!” Hux pulled away, ignoring Kylo’s sound of disappointment because the room was suddenly about ten degrees too hot. The impatient way he pawed at his own shirt was unbecoming for a First Order general, but his sweat-slicked fingers couldn’t find any purchase on the skintight synthetic material.

 

Kylo made a small gesture, no more than a flick of his wrist, and then the shirt fell to Hux’s feet, cleanly split in two. His eyes flitted between Kylo and the ruined fabric for a few seconds, the urges to scold the man and to press kisses over every square inch of his exposed skin warring in his head, before he decided he was too busy to properly punish him right now.

 

He leveled a stern gaze at him to show that he was serious. “You’re going to do something to make up for that later, Ren.” It wasn’t his best threat.

 

“Anything you want.” Kylo was palming himself through his trousers now, looking thoroughly debauched when they had barely gotten started.

 

“ _Stop it!_ No touching yourself without my permission. I don’t want you getting overly excited.” In all honesty, it was his own premature climax he was worried about if he had to watch another display like that.

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

Hux was too busy remembering how to breathe to celebrate Kylo Ren following his exact orders for the first time. The man seemed to know every one of his kinks now. He had already seen so many telling memories, and now he could even monitor Hux’s reactions to everything he did through their one-way connection. It all just seemed a little unfair.

 

“Here.” Kylo brought his fingers to Hux’s scalp again, and a proper link between their minds opened up, easier now that Hux couldn’t be bothered with self defense. It was just enough for him to get a good read on Ren’s emotions and loudest thoughts.

 

Hux made an unintelligible sound at the amount of lust and joy he could feel emanating from Kylo’s mind. The man _felt_ so much, all the damn time. It was astounding he could function without being overwhelmed by the intensity of his constantly shifting moods, which were more like small deviations from a baseline of irritation and cynicism in Hux’s case.

 

“Ren...”

 

“ _Kylo_. My name is Kylo. Ren is more of a title, you know? _All_ the Knights are Rens. You call me Kylo in your head all the time; you could at least make an effort to say it out loud once or twice.”

 

It’s true, he had gotten into the habit of thinking of him as Kylo lately, something he’d never done in the past. When exactly did _that_ start?

 

“Alright. _Kylo_ then.”

 

Kylo groaned, hand making an aborted move toward his crotch again before he caught himself. “I noticed your other partners all called you Brendol. Do you want-”

 

“No. _Gods_ no.” He hated his first name, hated the father he was named after. When he was young, it never occurred to him that he could ask people to call him by something else, and Ivek in particular hated the uppity way everyone answered only to their family name at the Academy, so Hux had humored him. He’d been thrilled when he finally held an office high enough that almost no one dared call him that.

 

Kylo didn’t pry. “Bren, maybe? Is it alright if I call you Bren?”

 

“...If you must.” He wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that one. Nobody had ever called him that.

 

“Or I could just call you General,” Kylo said with a lascivious smirk, noting the way Hux’s eyelashes fluttered a bit.

 

He was still abusing his knowledge of Hux’s turnons. Meanwhile, all he knew about Ren was that he enjoyed being treated a little roughly and that he liked hands for some (likely absurd) reason.

 

“You’re wrong, actually.”

 

He _pushed_ the images into Hux’s mind. All those other memories involving his hand kink that Hux had ignored in favor of the most important one....They all involved the same hands. Hands enveloped in a very familiar pair of black gloves.

 

“...Oh.” Kylo didn’t just have a thing for hands; he had a thing for _Hux’s_ hands.

 

He glanced down at them, confused what Kylo saw in them. They weren’t anything special. They were pasty white except for a few stray freckles and were even a little on the feminine side, with his perfectly manicured nails and slender wrists. He frowned.

 

Ren reached out with his own large, rough hands to grab one of them, drawing him out of his reverie. He simply held onto it for a moment, neither one wanting to risk breaking the silence, thick as it was with unspoken feelings. He eventually flipped it over and brought it to his lips to place a tender, reverent kiss on the palm.

 

Then he moved upward to lick at the sensitive skin of Hux’s fingertips, and the hesitantly affectionate mood evaporated at once. Hux let an entirely undignified moan slip out and pushed his first two fingers past Kylo’s soft, plush lips, where that dexterous tongue of his carefully laved them before he pulled back to nip at their pads.

 

Hux trailed the hand back down to Kylo’s bruised ribs, pressing harder this time as he bent to mouth at the fresh scar on his chest. He could feel how strangely sensitive the new skin there was through their joined minds, and as he caressed the rest of Kylo’s upper half and read the multitude of scars like braille, he continued to suck at it. By the time he pulled back, the scar had turned red from the attention, the surrounding skin dotted with delicate, purplish red pinpricks.

 

A laugh came from Ren, so quiet Hux felt the vibrations through his chest more than he heard it. “Would you believe this is my first hickey?”

 

His personality was terrible, but there was no way Hux was the first to look past it and appreciate such a perfect physique and curiously handsome face. “Oh? Am I truly the first to lay claim to you? This is a sign of possession, you know, intended to be a proclamation to anyone who sees it that this body is _mine_ to do with as I please.”

 

Ren drew himself up to full height, looking down his nose at Hux. “I belong to no one, General, not even Snoke, and certainly not to you. I’m my own man.”

 

Hux scoffed. “Don’t lie to me, Kylo. I can see it plain as day. I know you’d let me to rip you to shreds, _destroy_ you as long as I did it with my bare hands.” Said hands moved to grope at the front of Kylo’s trousers, and the man practically melted at the touch. Hux smirked, triumphant. “I want these off of you. Now.”

 

Ren took more care with his own clothes than he did with Hux’s, removing them manually despite his shaky hands. Once he was divested of his woolen socks as well, Hux moved to kneel before him, mouth watering at the sight of his uncut cock, surrounded by a wildly unkempt mess of black curls. Kylo was long enough to provide a bit of a challenge without simply choking Hux halfway unconscious the entire time he sucked him off. _Perfect._

 

Thumbs pressed into Ren’s marred hip bones, he nuzzled the trail of hair on his belly, starting at the navel and working his way downward. Down here, he smelled less like that heady incense and more like his pure self, the indistinct, underlying scent that Hux’s greatcoat had been lacking. His natural musk was salty with sweat but clean.

 

“Still one of your favorite activities, I take it?”

 

“Shut up,” Hux retorted, grasping Kylo’s shaft firmly and stroking up toward the head, where he leaned in to slip the tip of his tongue under the edge of his foreskin.

 

“Frak, Bren!” His hands shot out to Hux’s hair, where he gripped tight to steady his wobbling knees.

 

Well, that made the decision easy. ‘Bren’ was more than alright if Kylo was going to say it like _that_.

 

Hux didn’t waste anymore time teasing Kylo, muscle memory taking over even though he hadn’t given head in ages. He kept tabs on the man’s arousal through their connection, pulling away sooner than he’d like when he felt Kylo getting too close.

 

After a last swipe at Ren’s frenulum, he felt himself being bodily hauled to his feet by the Force, both of Ren’s hands busy tangling in his hair and grabbing at his now exposed ass as invisible ones haphazardly stripped Hux of his pants, briefs, and socks.

 

Hux cleared his throat and crossed his arms, looking pointedly at the clothing randomly strewn about the room. Kylo mumbled a quick apology into Hux’s throat, and behind him, the various pieces of clothing began folding themselves, making a neat stack by his boots with the halves of his ripped shirt on top.

 

“Much better.” He smoothed Kylo’s hair back from his forehead, earning him a noise that sounded suspiciously like a felinx purr. Ren inched forward until he was pressed fully against Hux before kissing him again, forcing his tongue into Hux’s mouth and denying him any sense of dominance or control this time.

 

He snaked a hand between them to grab at Hux’s cock, only to pull away with a small noise of confusion after continuing past it to cup his balls.

 

“You have no hair.”

 

“Yes, Lord Ren, _some_ of us prefer to groom ourselves into some semblance of order instead of going for the au naturale look like a hermit. Why do you seem disappointed?”

 

Ren hesitated, embarrassed. “I...find the color of your hair...intriguing.”

 

Hux sighed. He could feel his erection starting to flag. Not by much, but if Ren continued to distract him with idiotic remarks like that, things would only get worse. “Well, rest assured that everything was the same color as the hair on my head, nothing particularly exciting. You’re the first to complain about its absence.”

 

He thrust himself against Kylo, allowing him to take in the sensation of completely smooth skin gently slipping against his cock.

 

“I can see that it has its merits,” Kylo said, bringing his mouth down to Hux’s again and grinding back with more force.

 

The doubled lust in their heads as they rutted against one another caused their kiss to become more frenzied, neither one willing to move away to gasp for air or speak.

 

_Bed?_

 

_**Yes, definitely.** _

 

Encouraging him to wrap his legs around his waist, Ren picked up Hux and carried him to his bedroom as if he weighed nothing at all.

 

_**Showoff.** _

 

He laughed again, a little more freely now, as he unceremoniously dropped Hux onto the enormous bed. The sheets were already rumpled from when Kylo woke up earlier in the day. Hux pushed the scrunched up comforter down to the end of the bed with a look somewhere in between disgust and resignation, sighing a little.

 

He intended to make a mildly scornful comment about Ren’s disregard for military standards, but found himself being manhandled once again as Kylo laid him down in the center of the bed before straddling his hips, kneeling above him. They silently stared each other down for a few moments.

 

“Well? If you only brought me in here to enjoy the view, I may as well leave. Just get on with it, Ren!”

 

The reflective look in Kylo’s eyes was briefly replaced by anger before he bent down without warning and bit Hux’s clavicle.

 

“Ow! What the hell are...you…” After the initial sting, the feeling became more pleasurable as Kylo alternated between nibbling and sucking, working his way down the collar bone and draping himself atop Hux’s body like a particularly heavy, ungainly blanket.

 

Hux closed his eyes and repeated his earlier action of smoothing Ren’s hair back, revelling in the attention. He pushed his head down into the pillow and arched his back as he felt the nipping approaching his neck, baring his throat for the other man submissively. “Is this your idea of revenge?”

 

Kylo made a noncommittal humming sound, too busy trying to work on the hollow of Hux’s throat without his nose getting in the way to lift his head.

 

“Your intimidation skills need some brushing up then, Kylo.”

 

He paused in his ministrations, pulling back a bit to eye Hux carefully.

 

Confused but too comfortable to bother opening his eyes or sitting up, Hux blindly moved one hand down to grab at Ren’s shoulder. “Kylo? Wh-”

 

The dark haired man lunged forward, sinking his teeth into Hux’s jugular with a particularly sharp bite, sucking hard as soon as his lips made contact with skin. Almost instantly, the hand on his shoulder came up to smack him across the face with a strangled shout from its owner.

 

It didn’t have much force behind it; it was more akin to hitting a pet on the nose with a rolled up newspaper than a true slap. Hux was just retaliating on instinct, really. How dare the man try to bite him like that above his uniform’s collar?

 

For a split second he feared he had crossed a line by daring to slap Kylo Ren, but all the man did in response was moan like a Coruscanti back-alley whore, cock twitching against Hux’s.

 

“No leaving marks where others will see them. I don’t need my inferiors seeing me covered in lovebites. How _gauche_.”

 

“Are you sure about that, General? I can tell you’re busy imagining everyone on board knowing that your body was claimed by Kylo Ren and loving every minute of it.”

 

Hux groaned and closed his eyes again, knowing better than to try denying it.

 

“I wonder...what other fantasies do you have about me that I haven’t seen yet? I rather enjoyed the one where I kept on my mask.”

 

Hux’s eyes opened again, and he grabbed a fistful of Ren’s hair near the back of his neck with a snarl. “You’re still not forgiven for that, by the way. You specifically said you _weren’t_ going to dissect my memories like that back when you initially talked me into going along with all of this.”

 

Kylo shrugged despite Hux’s strong hold on his hair. “I lied,” he said nonchalantly.

 

Hux’s grip tightened further, bringing Kylo’s face closer to his own. “Someone needs to teach you a thing or two about basic human decency.”

 

“Mmm...another one of your fantasies? Please, continue.”

 

Hux released his hair, pushing him away slightly with disgust. “I’m not telling you another thing about what I think about when I’m alone, Ren. Those thoughts were only meant to be acknowledged in the complete privacy of my own quarters.”

 

“Oh, I rather think you’re wrong about that, General. You’ll do more than _tell_ me your most sinful thoughts by the end of the night.”

 

To his growing horror, Hux felt Kylo’s presence in his mind growing stronger, a familiar sensation by now. He tried to shout, to throw Kylo off of him, to leave the room altogether...but nothing happened. He was frozen in place apart from his eyes, the Force crawling over him like a web of live wires. Restricted as he was, he swore at Ren as loudly and violently as he could manage within the confines of his mind, counting it as a victory when the other man winced at the onslaught.

 

_Now, now, General. There’s no need to act like that. This will be much more pleasant for you if don’t try to fight me._

 

Kylo leaned in close to nose at Hux’s hair, nipping at his ear and jaw. “If at any point you want me to stop or slow down, just remember I’m in your mind. I’ll know if you’ve reached your limit,” he whispered directly into his ear, as if trying to camouflage his break in character from an imaginary audience. After pausing to suck at Hux’s jaw, careful not to let it bruise, Kylo pulled back again, the cold, fiercely determined expression he usually reserved for his enemies upon his face.

 

_Let’s see what the First Order’s prized General does in his free time besides using his jacket as a masturbatory aid…_

 

Now that he had experienced this as the aggressor, Hux wasn’t too concerned about what Ren might find this way. He doubted there would be much emotion involved besides lust and aggravation and a desire to break Ren’s will at times, and his brain couldn’t keep up well enough to really think in words whenever he was remotely close to orgasm.

 

He couldn’t be sure how much Kylo was getting from his thoughts of being held up by the Force while getting his ass eaten, but he could feel his frustration.

 

 _Hmm..._ _**show me** _ _._

 

If he thought it hurt letting Ren into his subconscious before, this time was absolutely excruciating, easily the most painful thing he’d ever experienced. Up to this point, the award would have gone to the time he had been grazed by an illicitly poison-laced bayonet during a battle simulation in his last year at the Academy by a fellow student vying for his position at the top of their class. At least then he’d spent part of his time unconscious and/or convulsing, and could take great comfort in the knowledge that the perpetrator would be expelled (or worse; he never actually asked what happened to those who were removed from the program). Now he couldn’t so much as whimper.

 

_Just let me in, Hux. It’ll be over before you know it._

 

It seemed impossible to relax under this much duress, body instinctively fighting against his bonds in an attempt to curl up, and he tried pushing back toward Kylo’s mind again. He doubted he could force his way in when he was this unfocused, but he hoped to reassure himself through Kylo’s raging emotions. Surely they would belie his outwardly aggressive demeanor right now.

 

But when he felt around the edges of Ren’s mind, there were no holes or weak spots this time. In fact, he couldn’t feel even a hint of emotion leaking through. His mind was as impenetrable as a durasteel wall, and Hux’s consciousness wailed in complete anguish at being denied even this small comfort. He suspected he was crying in real life too, but the input his brain was using to keep track of his body’s actions was spotty, so he couldn’t be sure. His face was wet, anyhow.

 

_I’m not going easy on you this time, Hux. You have no idea how weak you are in comparison to my full strength. You’ve felt the Force within me. Do you honestly think you can keep me at bay?_

 

Hux wilted a little, chagrined by Ren’s brutal honesty. His body still resisted the pressure against his mind, but he stopped actively fighting back. What was the point? Ren breaking through was inevitable.

 

_Good, Bren._

 

Kylo mimicked Hux’s earlier soothing actions, petting him instead due to his relative lack of hair. With a high pitched keening sound he hardly recognized as his own voice, he finally let go and submitted completely to Kylo, pain diminishing as the man joined Hux in his subconscious.

 

 _**Very** _ _good._

 

Hux had gone completely soft during the last minute, because even he didn’t enjoy pain _that_ much. Kylo’s praise was quickly remedying the situation, however. He was almost dizzy with how rapidly his blood was draining south.

 

_Now, where were we?_

 

Even in his head, Kylo’s voice was wrecked from arousal, gravelly and deeper than usual. Hux imagined he could feel it rumbling through his skull like thunder before his thoughts dissolved into another one of his fantasies, spurred on by the very incident that indirectly led to his current situation.

 

_He’s fighting with Ren again. Sometimes in that same control room, sometimes in an empty hallway where someone might happen upon them any minute, sometimes on the bridge, in full view of his crew. What the argument is about doesn’t even matter. The important part is that he pushes Ren too far again, and that icy, invisible grip closes over his neck once more, and his words die in his throat. It’s just as terrifying as the first time, but Ren is more calculating in his fury now, not screaming at him in a blinding rage but brutally tearing at his weaknesses, his insecurities. He removes his helmet. Hux’s vision is fading fast._

 

 _It’s an impressive show of strength and authority, and he finds himself growing hard despite his humiliation, praying that Ren doesn’t notice. But of course he does, because he’s_ _**Ren** _ _, who knows Hux to the core and can probably feel the shameful heat radiating from his needy cock anyways, even from where he stands a few feet away._

 

_The hold on his throat lessens, just enough to let him breathe but not enough to speak, and that look is back on Ren’s face as he stalks toward his prey. Because that’s all he is to Ren, a weak, pathetic little creature, barely worthy of being in his presence. He should be grateful that Ren is even granting him his attention right now._

 

 _And he is. He is_ _ **so**_ _grateful when Ren smiles cruelly and he feels a phantom hand sliding up his thigh, teasing over his leaking prick despite his layers of clothing. It eventually clamps onto his shaft with a grasp that’s just this side of too tight and begins stroking him at a punishing pace. Choked as he is, he doesn’t have to worry about trying to hold in his moans as he comes when another hand begins to massage the spot behind his balls as the first one’s thumb roughly swipes around the head of his cock with each stroke._

 

_Ren lets him go with no further notice. He’s in no state to stand, and he crumples to the ground at Ren’s feet like so much refuse. Ren leaves, back to his old self. Hux is forced to collect himself and make his hair and uniform look semi-decent before stepping out in front of his underlings again, or, depending on which version they’re in, he scrambles to reassert his authority to his bridge crew, who may or may not have noticed what just occurred, snapping at them to get back to work in spite of the tear tracks on his bright red face and the cum drying inside his shorts._

 

“I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting that one. I didn’t read anything but fear and your usual bad mood when I was Force choking you.”

 

Hux wiggled his fingers and toes, satisfied that he had been released from his bonds, but his head still ached too much to try opening his eyes. He hoped his imaginary glare was enough. “Well, fantasies don’t always translate well to real life. I was convinced you had finally snapped and I was about to be killed in cold blood by my colleague. I might enjoy being choked every now and then, but there’s nothing inherently arousing about being murdered.”

 

“I think I’ll leave the choking for another time, as tempting as that vision was. You paint a _very_ flattering picture of myself, by the way. But I have other plans for you right now.”

 

Hux’s heart skipped a beat at the mention of _another time_ , but he didn’t have a chance to dwell on it as his mind was flooded with images of himself, covered in bite marks and red scratches from Ren’s blunt nails. His half-closed eyes and disordered hair plainly pointed toward post-coital bliss, if the streaks of cum across his belly weren’t obvious enough.

 

He felt Ren start to withdraw from his head, and he opened his eyes in a panic.

 

_Relax, I’m still here._

 

The two of them had evidently moved to lie beside each other at some point when Hux’s brain had stopped functioning properly, and Ren was now lounging on his side, head propped up on one arm and his legs entwined with Hux’s own. He was still in Hux’s head, just as he said, but the pain wasn’t there.

 

Yet at the same time, the energy coming off him was _strong_ , not like when he was just looking at his surface thoughts. He was at some level in between the two. It was the best of both worlds: the heavy, comforting presence of another human being filling up all the empty, lonely parts, but without feeling stifling or oppressive. It reminded him of that alien otherness that was curiously nowhere to be found at the moment.

 

Kylo’s eyes were so dark they looked black now, and Hux shivered when they met his own. He didn’t have to be choking Hux or slinking toward him like a hungry garral to look animalistic; he was a perpetually feral beast of a man even in repose. Hux found himself wishing the door between their minds was opened again, because all he could glean from Kylo’s face was desire, with no real nuance to his emotional state or motivations.

 

_My apologies, General. I’m being selfish._

 

_**That is your usual modus operandi, yes.** _

 

_I can play nice when the situation calls for it._

 

The cold, hard durasteel containing Kylo thawed and melted away entirely, and their minds were enmeshed unlike anything else they’d experienced. He could actually see himself through Kylo’s eyes, could feel how badly the man’s prick was aching.

 

_**What is this?** _

 

_If it’s overwhelming, I can draw back._

 

“No! It’s..” _Amazing_ , his mind provided, but he finished his sentence with “...fine.”

 

Kylo’s mouth didn’t move much, but he smiled with his eyes, happy simply because Hux was happy.

 

_Come here._

 

Ren held his arms open, and Hux scooted forward, allowing himself to be wrapped up in a tight embrace, all long, gangly limbs and desperate lips against his own.

 

_**Please tell me you have some sort of lubricant in this room. Or is this monstrosity of a bed the only thing in here?** _

 

_There’s hidden storage underneath._

 

There was the sound of a gription panel being released, and then a small bottle of lubricant came into view and landed in Hux’s hand.

 

“Praise the gods! You were actually prepared for something _in advance_ without having to be told!”

 

He opened it, pumping a bit onto his fingers, then hesitated. They had never actually discussed what they wanted to do in explicit terms.

 

“Have you done this before?” He couldn’t recall seeing many memories of other people in Kylo’s past, and there were definitely none like this.

 

“Not…” Kylo trailed off, avoiding eye contact. _Not with another person._

 

Oh. _Oh._ He’d never taken anything larger than his slender fingers, didn’t have a growing collection of toys to satisfy his needs like Hux. Kylo was a _virgin_ of sorts. The realization made Hux’s cock jump, precum oozing out and sluggishly dripping onto the sheets. He didn’t even think Kylo had known about that particular kink of his.

 

“I didn’t. I just got lucky, I guess.”

 

_**I’m fairly certain I’m the lucky one here.** _

 

The thought wasn’t aimed at Ren, but he heard it anyways, a hint of color rising to his cheeks. The temptation to darken that flush and fuck him into the mattress was nearly irresistible, but Hux knew neither of them had the patience to properly prepare him right now.

 

_**Right, then.** _

 

Hux added more lubricant to his fingers and settled down on his back, then reached between his legs, running a finger lightly around his hole before beginning to work it in. It took a while, but once he was accustomed to it he withdrew before adding a second finger.

 

Kylo was enraptured, fists clenched in the sheets to stop himself from jerking off at the sight of Hux fingering himself just a few inches away.

 

_Wait._

 

Hux paused, fingers halfway into his ass.

 

“Can...can I?” Kylo had the lube in one hand and was gesturing vaguely with his other.

 

Hux considered it for a moment. He usually preferred preparing himself, at least with new partners, because getting fingered was one of his favorite sex acts when done right. He already knew what he liked and where his prostate was, two things that involved a bit of a learning curve when someone else was doing the job. But Kylo was staring at him pleadingly, hopelessly seeking Hux’s approval and attention, and so he caved, removing his fingers.

 

Ren rushed to lube up his own shaky fingers before moving closer. His first touch was timid, as if he was expecting Hux to suddenly rescind the offer, but when Hux only moaned and let his legs spread a little wider, his movements became more bold. Soon he was three fingers deep in Hux, massaging his prostate with his warm fingers in a way that felt like he was burning up from the inside out, body turning molten under Kylo’s touch.

 

Somehow, he’d managed to forget: Kylo was in his kriffing mind. He felt everything Hux did and wasn’t just poking around blindly like previous partners.

 

As his right hand was busy turning him into a complete wreck, Ren’s left hand reached up to rub at Hux’s nipple, alternating between pinching and gently twisting. When Hux responded positively, he began mouthing at the other nipple and flicking his tongue over it, both hands still working diligently. His treatment became more aggressive as the minutes passed, devolving to more nipping and less sucking, and between that and the way he was milking Hux’s prostate and making a slippery mess of his groin and belly, Hux couldn’t stand another minute without Kylo inside him. He pushed at his head lightly.

 

“Stop stop stop...that’s enough. If you keep going, the show’s going to be over before you even get inside me.”

 

Kylo pulled out after a few more light sweeps across his prostate, both groaning in unison at the sudden emptiness and lack of warmth.

 

Hux picked up the lubricant. “Why don’t you lie back and allow me to pay back the favor?” He dispensed some more into his hand before reaching down to carefully set the bottle on the floor instead of just tossing it aside, because he wasn’t raised in a bantha nursery like _some_ people.

 

“Always so critical, even with--Ah!--even with your hand on my dick.”

 

“Shut up, Ren.” Just for that, he wiped off the excess lubricant on one of Kylo’s numerous pillows.

 

Kylo brought his hands up to Hux’s hips as he was straddled, helping brace him. Hux was starting to think he might have a thing for hands now, too. As ridiculous as it was, having the man’s big hands holding him so securely made him feel safe, as if he wasn’t already on board one of the First Order’s most heavily protected starships.

 

Ren’s grip tightened, likely in response to his thoughts, and Hux grunted, not wanting to further fuel his enlarged ego by outright moaning. With one hand on Kylo’s chest for balance and one holding his cock steady, Hux began sinking down, revelling in the familiar stretch.

 

Kylo’s cock was decently sized though, much longer than his fingers, and Hux hadn’t done this in years. He couldn’t take him all in one go like he used to. He paused for breath less than halfway down, the vice-like grip on his sides growing even more intense as Kylo whined, trying not to thrust up.

 

A wicked smirk grew on Hux’s face. There were few things he enjoyed more than provoking Ren and testing his patience.

 

“Tsk. You’re leaving bruises, Kylo.”

 

“But it’s just your hips! Nobody can see them!” He sounded frantic, and Hux could hear him desperately begging for Hux to just move again inside his head. He painted a lovely picture of wanton need, with his damp curls forming a dark halo against the sheets and his chest heaving wildly.

 

“Mmm. Well, I’ve decided that handprints are off limits now, too. Heal them before they start to get too dark.”

 

“But-”

 

“ _Now,_ Ren. And fix the mark you made on my neck too while you’re at it.”

 

Kylo mewled, trying his hardest to please Hux. He could tell the man was falling apart at the seams though, totally incapable of utilizing the Force in any productive way. His own thighs were trembling with how badly he wanted to fuck Ren for all he was worth, and he might have to give up and drop the charade early if the man couldn’t do as he was asked.

 

“I’m waiting…” His dribbling precum was starting to pool on Kylo’s belly.

 

Kylo was practically sobbing now, the Force fluttering weakly around the pair. Hux took pity on the man and finally began to sink down again, not stopping until he bottomed out this time.

 

Both men breathed a sigh of relief, and then Hux was moving, Kylo thrusting up to meet him every time he dropped back down. He wasn’t going to last long. Not with the delicious way Kylo’s cock was dragging against his prostate with each thrust after their drawn out foreplay, if that’s what it could be called.

 

Ren was just as turned on as Hux, but it seemed his training under Snoke had paid off, because Hux could feel he had a better handle on his body at the moment and wasn’t hurtling toward orgasm as recklessly as himself.

 

One of his hands released Hux’s side to jerkily stroke at his cock, and Hux nearly shouted. It was out of time with their thrusts, but it didn’t matter because it was enough to not just tip him over the edge, but violently cast him over toward orgasm.

 

“Ren--Kylo--I’m-”

 

There was a peculiar nudging sensation somewhere inside of him, and then he was crying Kylo’s name as the familiar waves of tingling heat flooded through him, only...it wasn’t so familiar, actually, and the relief he usually associated with orgasm wasn’t there. This was more subdued, a diffuse sensation of pleasure. The intensely building pressure hadn’t been released, his cock didn’t pulsate and paint his stomach white like in Ren’s vision, and Kylo’s attention wasn’t pushing into the realm of overstimulation at all.

 

Head too fuzzy to form actual words, he just thought at the likely culprit instead.

 

_**Ren...what did you do?** _

 

“Provided my anatomy is correct, you can have multiple orgasms now.”

 

Well, wasn’t that a neat trick. That would explain why the tension in his groin wasn’t dissipating, either, despite his muscles going limp as he slumped forward onto Kylos chest.

 

His thighs had been burning already in the short amount of time before his orgasm. He was horrendously out of practice when it came to bottoming like this, and now he was completely spent, not enough energy left in his system to continue riding Kylo after already dealing with two separate intrusions into his subconscious today, both of which left him breathless and dripping with sweat. At the moment, he could only manage to make needy twitching movements with his hips, still driven by a need to properly climax.

 

Ren was reeling from the echoes of Hux’s pleasure, but his hand was still going strong and his hips were continuing to piston into Hux’s lax body.

 

Kylo drove into Hux particularly hard, hooking a leg around Hux’s own in the process, and carelessly flipped them over, barely giving Hux time to sigh in exhausted relief and wrap his legs around him before he picked up where he left off.

 

Their mouths came together, tongues barely entangling before Kylo was pulling away to nuzzle at Hux’s hair again, callused thumb slipping over his slit with each pull on his cock.

 

Impulsively, he swooped in to bite at the still entirely un-healed mark on Hux’s neck, no telltale warning coming through to Hux’s head.

 

Hux’s second climax was just as unsuspected. He shouted hoarsely, fisting a hand in Ren’s hair and growling a little when he realized he still wasn’t being allowed to cum properly.

 

Kylo was close too; Hux could tell. Even he was turned on by how he looked through Ren’s eyes right now, completely fucked out with his back arched and his hair plastered to his forehead.

 

_Just one thing missing, Bren._

 

Kylo’s hyperrealistic image of himself where he was now thoroughly coated in his own semen flowed into his head.

 

_**Kylo, please!** _

 

His arousal spiked sharply before suddenly reaching its peak, apparently driven on by hearing his name being spoken with such desperation in the sonorous tones of Hux’s mental voice.

 

It was unlike anything Hux had ever experienced, feeling someone else’s orgasm. This one was a real doozy, too. Kylo’s head went entirely silent for a moment, too busy lighting up his pleasure centers to think properly, and then a feeling of complete euphoria hit Hux as he felt two orgasms at once.

 

He howled, eyes rolling back as Ren’s hold on his insides was lifted due to his distraction, allowing him to climax fully for the first time. It was easily his most intense orgasm, even stronger than his other experiments with prolonged edging. He lost count of how many times his cock throbbed, continuing to lazily pump out cum even as it wore down to little more than the twitches of aftershock.

 

Kylo pulled out and collapsed against him, absently licking at the cum Hux’s overzealous cock had shot all the way to his throat. He was heavy, but Hux didn’t mind. Kylo deserved whatever his heart desired after giving Hux a series of orgasms like that, even if it was to slowly crush him to death while doing something so crude as licking up the remnants of Hux’s release. All Hux cared about right now was remembering how to breathe. He knew they should clean up, but Kylo’s comically oversized bed was so comfortable, and he was so tired…

 

“Well, that was absolutely terrible.”

 

“...I beg your pardon?!” Kylo had next to no experience with other people and just gave Hux what was unquestionably the best sex of his entire life up to date, and he had the audacity to call it terrible?

  
“ I was supposed to be teaching you to block off your subconscious, and you did a _horrible_ job of it. Clearly, we’re going to need to meet up like this more often.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fear I may have lost some readers with how drawn out this ridiculous story became, but if there's any interest at all I have rough plans for a sequel. Two sequels, actually, with the last one being a little darker/more serious. What do you guys think?
> 
> P.S. Multiple orgasms are totally a real thing for males. Most just tense up their pubococcygeus muscle instead of using the Force to stop ejaculation, though.


End file.
